ficrecs and crack!fic notes
Feb. 15th, 2006 02:37 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
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katie_m is writing snippets and she wrote this one on my prompt of Rodney and girlscout cookies: Professional Ethics. This actually came up because I'm convinced that the Girl Scouts are lacing those cookies with something because Tagalongs! Thin Mints! Samoas! Soooo ebilly addictive. And coise my Mom for falling for their ebil schemes and bringing home half a dozen boxes and setting them OUT. Just to taunt us! Call us in the night! Fortunately, my self will outlasted my Dad's and we all know that once a box is opened you must eat the ENTIRE THING. Yes. Love-hate relationship with Girl Scout cookies, and I thought Rodney might feel the same way. Hence, prompt. Katie did a lovely job with such a cracked prompt. Gen.Another fantastic gen piece: Rodney and Sam, friendshippy, crossover SG-1/SGA and a birthday present for
saffronhouse. Cool. I love when they can talk science and it's a part of the characters, and when their personalities shine through as they make connections and get distracted from snarking at eat other. Free 'Verse, by dashamte.Also, everybody drop what you're doing and go read Fourth Kiss by
brighidestone. SG-1, S9, then come back.Then,
rydra_wong and I were chatting about partners getting into BDSM in fanfic, and how it was remarkable how they were often instantly simpatico with their kinks, had bought out the entire BDSM warehouse in Colorado Springs, had the details and the subtleties down after a 30 minutes Google search and noooooo worries about the timing of their next physicals etc. Which is when it occured to me: this could all be the fault of the Asgaard. I mean, they've meddled before! And clearly Thor has some frustrated feelings for Jack, but no, you know, PANTS. So I think it might go something like this: *Jack and Thor have a courtly sort of regular tea-sipping date*
Jack: So all I'm saying is that I wish Daniel were more open to new experiences, like kinky sex in zero G or bondage with purple fabric instead of red, or...
Thor: BDSM squicks him? That doesn't sound like Daniel, or I swear I never would have set up that blind date, even if it was an interesting experiment. And fun to watch.
Jack: Something about a bad spanking experience in his mysterious het past.
Thor: *perk*
Jack: I know! But he won't tell me about it. Nobody writes awkward sex anymore.
Thor: *is sad*
Jack: I just want us to coincidentally have the same kinks. Is that so much to ask? *defies the stars*
Thor (interrupts): I b'lieve I can help with that.
Jack: Rilly? Kewl.
*later*
Daniel (long sufferingly): What is it with you and purple-- *zap* Oooooooh, shiny.
Jack: Kewl. *gives thumbs up to the ceiling* Um, so Daniel, how would you feel about kinky zero-G sex?
Daniel: *is mesmerized by teh purple*
Jack: Thor? Wanna dial it back a little there, buddy?
Thor: *beams a plethora of BDSM toys into their wardrobe*
*later, in the Pegasus Galaxy*
McKay: *picks up a creatively shaped gag* Colonel, we need to have a talk about the contents of your wardrobe.
Sheppard: Look! I'm not even into that! I just opened the wardrobe one morning, and ... he keeps beaming it in there! I think O'Neill told them something about human mating behaviour as a joke, it got out of hand...
McKay (squeeky voice): Who, THOR?
Sheppard: No, I think Thor is more into spanking. This is all Hermiod, this gag stuff.
McKay: Well, I guess they would be frustrated by now. All that interest and no way to, *gestures creatively* you know...
Sheppard: *picks up a strap-on* Hell hath no fury like a frustrated Asgaard.
McKay: At least there's no Norse God of sex and bondage, or we'd really be in trouble.
Sheppard: *blink* Are we sure about that?
McKay: *drops toys and runs away*
And then something else happens. Haven't figured that part out yet, but it probably involves sex, and trampolines. Possibly foodstuffs, but not the yellow ones. The end.
That's about as much of it as I'm likely to write, so if anyone wants this particular stoned plotbunny, please, please take it. No really. Please.
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no subject
Date: 2006-02-15 10:51 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-02-15 11:03 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-02-15 11:24 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-02-15 11:36 pm (UTC)Also? Some of those AMTDI Aliens are seriously messed up. I'm just saying.
no subject
Date: 2006-02-16 02:22 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-02-16 11:19 pm (UTC)She probably won't want co-authorship credit on this one either. It's going to turn into a 5 Ways Military Slash Couples Acquire Sex Toys fic.
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Date: 2006-02-17 12:04 am (UTC)hee! keep writing. ;)
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Date: 2006-02-15 11:09 pm (UTC)*comes back to life to make comment*
noooooo worries about the timing of their next physicals etc.
YES. And I thought I was the only one bothered by this. Every time I read a BDSM fic, I always end up picturing the look on Janet's face when she finally finds some interesting marks on the boys...
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Date: 2006-02-15 11:34 pm (UTC)I really want a Thor *is sad* icon now, though. Reaaaaaally want.
And I wouldn't mind hearing Jack try to BS his way out of some incriminating welts and bruises ("see, there was an alien abduction! No seriously, I'm serious"). Janet would just be standing there giving him the Jaffa Eyebrow of Doom (she hangs with Teal'c), and eventually, when his expansive hand movements started hitting the privacy curtains on both sides of his bed she'd say "Colonel, COLONEL. Name."
And he'd give some hand-in-the-cookie-jar looks and say "Jack?"
and she'd say "no, the other name."
And he'd say "Oh," and then be silent for long enough that Janet would be worried that he'd forgotten the question and then he would finally mumble (looking everywhere but Janet). "Um, Daniel? That's a name."
So Janet would just gape for a second (but not really very long because Elizabeth taught her to be really, really sex positive (tm Helenish)) and then say bruskly 'Oh, alright then," and get on with the big needle thingys.
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Date: 2006-02-16 12:10 am (UTC)Damn you and your icon nudges! you knew this would happen though. Right?
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Date: 2006-02-16 12:13 am (UTC)BWAHAHAHAHA! You know, I always feel like such a TOOL when I say stuff like that and then people make the icon for me! And it's fantastic! *glee*
I'm totally changing the icon for this post now. *glee*
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Date: 2006-02-15 11:56 pm (UTC)I. Can't. Believe. It.
ROTFLMFAO!!! BWAHAHAHA!!
*tears in my eyes*
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Date: 2006-02-16 01:27 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-02-16 01:38 am (UTC)Did I hear mention of zombies? BBBBRRRRAAAAIIIINNNNSSSS!!!!
(speaking of icons, I really need a BBRRAAIIINNNSSSS one.)
no subject
Date: 2006-02-16 02:45 am (UTC)*hugs mabi*
Date: 2006-02-16 03:22 am (UTC)*sings*
Watch them glimmer.
See them shimmer...
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Date: 2006-02-16 02:53 am (UTC)BBBBBBRRRRRRAAAAAAAIIIIIIINNNNNNNSSSSSSSS!!!!!! (Isn't Mabi cute? You just say things like, I'd really like a icon liek this and *presto* ICON! It's amazing.)
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Date: 2006-02-16 03:24 am (UTC)Mabi rocks! :)
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Date: 2006-02-16 03:33 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-02-16 04:02 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-02-16 03:26 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-02-16 04:05 am (UTC)But honestly, when would a doctor be concerned that her patients might be getting hurt? *koffs*
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Date: 2006-02-16 05:10 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-02-16 05:46 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-02-16 04:07 pm (UTC)See, now you've said that, I'm thinking - is there a decent sex shop in Colorado Springs, let alone a BDSM warehouse? This is Focus On The Family-ville, after all.
And by "decent" I mean "not so depressingly sleazy that it instantly makes you vow never to have sex again".
Plus there's the risk of being spotted. And then I'd bet that Daniel has good liberal principles and will only buy from sex-positive co-operatively-run feminist sex toy shops anyway.
So, are they reliant on mail/online ordering? Are they into the realms of, "Well, Jack, I would handcuff you to the bed, but UPS say that the parcel from Good Vibrations is currently held up in a warehouse somewhere, so you're just going to have to pretend for a while ..."?
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Date: 2006-02-16 06:11 pm (UTC)You know the sex-positive co-operatively-run feminist sex toy shops would have a limited selection of BDSM supplies, but I'd bet they'd be more subtle about parking (and having some books in the front that Daniel could claim were research materials) and would totally order in supplies for the boys.
Which is a better option than ordering from Good Vibrations since there have been canon instances of monitoring online orders.
Or, you could go with "The Mind Doesn't Decide" option which is that they take vacations in San Francisco and make a lot of purchases while there. Like wedding rings, handcuffs, etc. *g*
And in the meantime, Daniel is a lateral thinking guy, he'll improvise. Especially as they wait for the workmen to install the ceiling hooks, etc. I wonder if Thor does the assembly and work for that kind of thing or if he beams stuff straight from the sex-positive co-op?
You know what I wonder? Is anyone going to check whether Jack or Daniel have solid headboards or ones you can actually tie stuff to? Otherwise you're stuck with spread eagle if you have to tie to the legs of the bed... *muses*
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Date: 2006-02-16 06:30 pm (UTC)Yes, not so much with the sexy, really. Or the "good shopping experience", either.
*fangirls her local feminist toy store which offers free herbal tea*
You know the sex-positive co-operatively-run feminist sex toy shops would have a limited selection of BDSM supplies,
Oh, you might be surprised.
and having some books in the front that Daniel could claim were research materials
And he would totally end up talking about Minoan goddess imagery with the lesbian proprietors, and they would flirt with him in a you're-cute-apart-from-the-penis way and give him free lube samples and test his batteries for him.
And Jack's brain would short-circuit completely.
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Date: 2006-02-16 06:55 pm (UTC)And Jack's brain would short-circuit completely.
Either that, or he'd get jealous that they broke out the extra special 'we usually only offer tea' organic, locally roasted Sumatran coffee for Daniel, at which point he'd get a glare of anti-testosterone doom. At least until Daniel calmed him down with a single touch and the proprietors would melt at teh cuteness against their better principles, and Jack would start thinking that maybe an orgy would be fun. Eventually leading to short-circuiting as he tried to frame the question, and Daniel drags him out like a zombie. Bbbbrrraaaaiiiinnnnsssss....
Seriously, can we write the Jack and Daniel go to the Sex Positive, Co-operatively Run, Feminist Sex Toy Store fic?
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Date: 2006-02-16 07:18 pm (UTC)He's kind of disappointed that they don't look like in porn, but, you know, willing to be adaptable.
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Date: 2006-02-16 11:12 pm (UTC)I need to find a shop like that in my area. For the free herbal tea, you understand. I only read it for the articles. (WHAT? I'm 28! That peak time for women!) *notices who she's talking to and breaks off mid-defensive-rant*
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Date: 2006-02-17 10:26 am (UTC)Definitely. Plus, the way he remembers it, feminists think porn is bad, right? So he's suspicious that this could be a trap of some kind. They pretend to be all friendly to lull you into a false sense of security, but then if you admit that you like sex and porn, they hit you with sticks (and not in a fun way) for being sexist and degrading and miso... myso ... thing. So he's on his guard.
I need to find a shop like that in my area. For the free herbal tea, you understand. I only read it for the articles.
Well, if you can't find somewhere local, Good Vibrations and Blowfish are always of the good (do I need to say NSFW?). Herbal tea not available over the net, but they do have articles. And you could, you know, be looking at the sites purely as research for fic.
By the entirely-hypothetical way,
http://raqs.livejournal.com/151224.html (which has lots of people recc-ing their favourite stores in the comments)
http://raqs.livejournal.com/341293.html
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Date: 2006-02-17 06:53 pm (UTC)I'm going to have to check it out now, clearly, as I hypothetically really need a new viberator. Or, perhaps, 'want' is a better word.
Not that I've taken notes on people's favorite brands or noticed the one on goodvibe actually called 'Minx' (should've known. But it's pink and frilly. So not even hypothetically me.)
THANKS!
no subject
Date: 2006-02-17 03:27 pm (UTC)And then they will be all about how sweet it is to see someone, uh, older finally coming to terms with his sexuality, and will be terrifically understanding (while giving Daniel looks of solidarity), and ask if he knows that there's a new LGBT Seniors support group starting up in town?
And Jack will seethe quietly, and require much subsequent reassurance from Daniel that he's not that old at all really.
no subject
Date: 2006-02-17 06:59 pm (UTC)Daniel would be nearly bursting with laughter and would try to deflect and help her at the same time by talking about ageism in our culture and how we don't respect our elders and segregate them out compared to other cultures which... but by then Jack's eyes would have gone very wide and he would be surrupticiously (sp?) tugging on Daniel's elbow. Really hard. And edging towards the door in a completely not-subtle way. And Daniel will tell him he can go get the car if he likes but they still haven't paid for anything yet so they can't go just yet. Plus they didn't even get to look at the handcuffs.
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Date: 2006-02-17 08:22 pm (UTC)Yes, because she's working there part-time while she's at university. And feels it's really important to record the community's history.
Later, in the car, Jack will be unable to use the word "community" without exasperated finger-quotes. "Gay" is still kind of an issue, now he has to be part of a freaking community as well?!?
no subject
Date: 2006-02-17 09:00 pm (UTC)And, the third way Jack and Daniel might supply themselves with BDSM toys would be to ask Sam where the sex-positive feminist sex toy shops are in Washington ('Are you sure it's still there, Sam?' Sam: *aghast and panicing* Daniel: Okay calm down, I'm sure they're still in business), so Jack can go there and stock up for Daniel's next visit. Point of fact, she also knows the great shops in Colorado Springs (and that took years of research! YEARS!) but refuses to accompany Daniel to help pick out whips and chains because that is too much information about her former CO. And no! She's not going to try on the cuffs for him! But she'll recommend a good dildo manufacturer (since she's a woman going through her sexual peak on her own, and knows something about dildos and self-love thank you very much)
Though she's kinda charmed by the way Daniel so blatantly flaunts DADT. (No! I'm not trying anything on for you! Ew, Daniel! Though I can recomment the velcro WITH buckles.)
no subject
Date: 2006-02-17 09:51 pm (UTC)Though she's kinda charmed by the way Daniel so blatantly flaunts DADT
Well, technically it doesn't apply to him (civilian consultant and all that), and AFAIK he might actually be covered by federal anti-discrimination employment regulations. It's only if he sleeps with someone who is military that it's a problem (both because of that person's being bound by DADT and because it falls under "unprofessional relationships"). The risk would be that Daniel's being out would make other people more suspicious about who he might be sleeping with.
no subject
Date: 2006-02-18 02:54 am (UTC)*handwave* *handwave* (I learned that from Farscape)
But yes, I meant that, disapproving in principle of people needing to be closeted, he might see the upside of Jack moving to Washington being that he could be more out and generally just push limits, be a lightning rod, p'raps.
no subject
Date: 2006-02-18 09:35 am (UTC)*snerks* Like you haven't had any handwaving practice with Stargate?
And yes, Daniel would be all about the principle of the thing.
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Date: 2006-02-18 06:07 pm (UTC)Military regulations? What's THAT got to do with it?
Deliberately flaunting the rules and characters they themselves set up? Priceless.
Actually, with Stargate I either roll my eyes and ignore it or deliberately don't pay attention. Farscape smacks me over the head with supersoakers and vibrators and pipettemen, and it's MARVELOUS, so I pay attention and gleefully dance the handwavey dance *demonstrates*
Whole 'nuther thing entirely.
Also, I'd be willing to bet that while Daniel would be perfectly willing to be a lighning rod all by himself, other sex positive people would be more than happy to smoke screen Jack. You could see Janet coming over once a week for dinner just to confuse anyone watching... other scientists, really other civilian women would be supportive (and take time with Daniel anyway they could.)
Besides, what do you think happens to everyone's BDSM stuff when they go MIA and the SGC shuts down their apartment? It all goes to Janet, that's what happens. Woman IS the Colorado Springs BDSM warehouse. (only quality used goods! Discount prices! The rest she donates to the local YMCA, after a run through the washing machine, natch.)
no subject
Date: 2006-02-17 03:35 pm (UTC)---------
Jack was tired, so very tired. 24 hours of experiencing pure and untamed erotica could do that to a person. Daniel, on the other hand, seemed to be bouncing with energy.
"We haven't even tried the trampolines yet!"
Great, he's dying and Daniel wants to have more sex. More untamed erotica, more porn without plot, more kink ... etcetera, etcetera.
Thor had left a bowl with Asgard food blocks. Oh, what the hell, what's the worst that could happen? Besides, he needed the energy if they where going to continue their sex-a-thon.
As he swallowed one of them, he heard Daniel yelling something about not eating the purple ones.
"There something going on down there," Jack said. "I think this stuff is working"
"Ummm .. Jack ?," Daniel was backing away slowly.
Colonel Jack O'Neill looked down and shrieked like a little girl.
---------
Somewhere on the DanielJackson 6.9 a lone Asgard vowed; "Someday you'll be mine, O'Neill !"
---------
*runs and hides*
no subject
Date: 2006-02-17 07:00 pm (UTC)*smothers giggles* 6.9, eh?
no subject
Date: 2006-02-17 08:35 pm (UTC)