minxy | ficrecs and crack!fic notes

katie_m is writing snippets and she wrote this one on my prompt of Rodney and girlscout cookies: Professional Ethics. This actually came up because I'm convinced that the Girl Scouts are lacing those cookies with something because Tagalongs! Thin Mints! Samoas! Soooo ebilly addictive. And coise my Mom for falling for their ebil schemes and bringing home half a dozen boxes and setting them OUT. Just to taunt us! Call us in the night! Fortunately, my self will outlasted my Dad's and we all know that once a box is opened you must eat the ENTIRE THING. Yes. Love-hate relationship with Girl Scout cookies, and I thought Rodney might feel the same way. Hence, prompt. Katie did a lovely job with such a cracked prompt. Gen.

Another fantastic gen piece: Rodney and Sam, friendshippy, crossover SG-1/SGA and a birthday present for

saffronhouse. Cool. I love when they can talk science and it's a part of the characters, and when their personalities shine through as they make connections and get distracted from snarking at eat other. Free 'Verse, by

dashamte.

Also, everybody drop what you're doing and go read Fourth Kiss by

brighidestone. SG-1, S9, then come back.

Then,

rydra_wong and I were chatting about partners getting into BDSM in fanfic, and how it was remarkable how they were often instantly simpatico with their kinks, had bought out the entire BDSM warehouse in Colorado Springs, had the details and the subtleties down after a 30 minutes Google search and noooooo worries about the timing of their next physicals etc. Which is when it occured to me: this could all be the fault of the Asgaard. I mean, they've meddled before! And clearly Thor has some frustrated feelings for Jack, but no, you know, PANTS. So I think it might go something like this:

*Jack and Thor have a courtly sort of regular tea-sipping date*

Jack: So all I'm saying is that I wish Daniel were more open to new experiences, like kinky sex in zero G or bondage with purple fabric instead of red, or...

Thor: BDSM squicks him? That doesn't sound like Daniel, or I swear I never would have set up that blind date, even if it was an interesting experiment. And fun to watch.

Jack: Something about a bad spanking experience in his mysterious het past.

Thor: *perk*

Jack: I know! But he won't tell me about it. Nobody writes awkward sex anymore.

Thor: *is sad*

Jack: I just want us to coincidentally have the same kinks. Is that so much to ask? *defies the stars*

Thor (interrupts): I b'lieve I can help with that.

Jack: Rilly? Kewl.

*later*

Daniel (long sufferingly): What is it with you and purple-- *zap* Oooooooh, shiny.

Jack: Kewl. *gives thumbs up to the ceiling* Um, so Daniel, how would you feel about kinky zero-G sex?

Daniel: *is mesmerized by teh purple*

Jack: Thor? Wanna dial it back a little there, buddy?

Thor: *beams a plethora of BDSM toys into their wardrobe*

*later, in the Pegasus Galaxy*

McKay: *picks up a creatively shaped gag* Colonel, we need to have a talk about the contents of your wardrobe.

Sheppard: Look! I'm not even into that! I just opened the wardrobe one morning, and ... he keeps beaming it in there! I think O'Neill told them something about human mating behaviour as a joke, it got out of hand...

McKay (squeeky voice): Who, THOR?

Sheppard: No, I think Thor is more into spanking. This is all Hermiod, this gag stuff.

McKay: Well, I guess they would be frustrated by now. All that interest and no way to, *gestures creatively* you know...

Sheppard: *picks up a strap-on* Hell hath no fury like a frustrated Asgaard.

McKay: At least there's no Norse God of sex and bondage, or we'd really be in trouble.

Sheppard: *blink* Are we sure about that?

McKay: *drops toys and runs away*

And then something else happens. Haven't figured that part out yet, but it probably involves sex, and trampolines. Possibly foodstuffs, but not the yellow ones. The end.

That's about as much of it as I'm likely to write, so if anyone wants this particular stoned plotbunny, please, please take it. No really. Please.

Current Music: The Closest Thing to Crazy - Katie Melua

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

From:

http://users.livejournal.com/_minxy_/

And he would totally end up talking about Minoan goddess imagery with the lesbian proprietors, and they would flirt with him in a you're-cute-apart-from-the-penis way and give him free lube samples and test his batteries for him.

And Jack's brain would short-circuit completely.

Either that, or he'd get jealous that they broke out the extra special 'we usually only offer tea' organic, locally roasted Sumatran coffee for Daniel, at which point he'd get a glare of anti-testosterone doom. At least until Daniel calmed him down with a single touch and the proprietors would melt at teh cuteness against their better principles, and Jack would start thinking that maybe an orgy would be fun. Eventually leading to short-circuiting as he tried to frame the question, and Daniel drags him out like a zombie. Bbbbrrraaaaiiiinnnnsssss....

Seriously, can we write the Jack and Daniel go to the Sex Positive, Co-operatively Run, Feminist Sex Toy Store fic?

From:

rydra_wong

I think Jack would be terribly confused, because on the one hand, he sort of thinks that sex toy shops ought to be sleazy and shame-faced and vaguely sticky-floored, and it's just not right if they're friendly and have wooden floors and displays of brightly-painted clay figurines by local women artists. And on the other hand, lesbians.

He's kind of disappointed that they don't look like in porn, but, you know, willing to be adaptable.

From:

http://users.livejournal.com/_minxy_/

I also think Jack in principle would be against the general idea of a granola kind of place were everything is PC and feminist and touchy-feely and organic, but I suspect the fact that it's a sex toy shop would about balance out that squick. ("Who needs ambiance? It's SEX. This feels like a normal girl shop... with *hand flaps* HERBAL TEA! Oooh, and lesbians.")

I need to find a shop like that in my area. For the free herbal tea, you understand. I only read it for the articles. (WHAT? I'm 28! That peak time for women!) *notices who she's talking to and breaks off mid-defensive-rant*

From:

rydra_wong

I also think Jack in principle would be against the general idea of a granola kind of place were everything is PC and feminist and touchy-feely and organic

Definitely. Plus, the way he remembers it, feminists think porn is bad, right? So he's suspicious that this could be a trap of some kind. They pretend to be all friendly to lull you into a false sense of security, but then if you admit that you like sex and porn, they hit you with sticks (and not in a fun way) for being sexist and degrading and miso... myso ... thing. So he's on his guard.

I need to find a shop like that in my area. For the free herbal tea, you understand. I only read it for the articles.

Well, if you can't find somewhere local, Good Vibrations and Blowfish are always of the good (do I need to say NSFW?). Herbal tea not available over the net, but they do have articles. And you could, you know, be looking at the sites purely as research for fic.

By the entirely-hypothetical way,

raqs has posted some wise shopping advice:

http://raqs.livejournal.com/151224.html (which has lots of people recc-ing their favourite stores in the comments)
http://raqs.livejournal.com/341293.html

From:

http://users.livejournal.com/_minxy_/

Well, my chances of running for president could be screwed if google is indeed tracking my searches, but I've just found a local sex-positive feminist shop that comes fairly highly recommended called It's My Pleasure in Portland at Sandy and NE 64th, I b'lieve. Then there's always Spartacus, of course, but it doesn't look like a herbal tea kinda place really.

I'm going to have to check it out now, clearly, as I hypothetically really need a new viberator. Or, perhaps, 'want' is a better word.

Not that I've taken notes on people's favorite brands or noticed the one on goodvibe actually called 'Minx' (should've known. But it's pink and frilly. So not even hypothetically me.)

THANKS!

From:

rydra_wong

At least until Daniel calmed him down with a single touch and the proprietors would melt at teh cuteness against their better principles

And then they will be all about how sweet it is to see someone, uh, older finally coming to terms with his sexuality, and will be terrifically understanding (while giving Daniel looks of solidarity), and ask if he knows that there's a new LGBT Seniors support group starting up in town?

And Jack will seethe quietly, and require much subsequent reassurance from Daniel that he's not that old at all really.

From:

http://users.livejournal.com/_minxy_/

And one of the younger girls would want to interview him for a paper she's doing on different kinds of discrimination within the community and will want an interview for the 'ageism' chapter and would he be willing to talk with her about it? It would totally be whatever he was comfortable with *expectant look*.

Daniel would be nearly bursting with laughter and would try to deflect and help her at the same time by talking about ageism in our culture and how we don't respect our elders and segregate them out compared to other cultures which... but by then Jack's eyes would have gone very wide and he would be surrupticiously (sp?) tugging on Daniel's elbow. Really hard. And edging towards the door in a completely not-subtle way. And Daniel will tell him he can go get the car if he likes but they still haven't paid for anything yet so they can't go just yet. Plus they didn't even get to look at the handcuffs.

From:

rydra_wong

And one of the younger girls would want to interview him for a paper she's doing on different kinds of discrimination within the community and will want an interview for the 'ageism' chapter

Yes, because she's working there part-time while she's at university. And feels it's really important to record the community's history.

Later, in the car, Jack will be unable to use the word "community" without exasperated finger-quotes. "Gay" is still kind of an issue, now he has to be part of a freaking community as well?!?

From:

http://users.livejournal.com/_minxy_/

Exasperated finger quotes! Yes! Plus, you have to look at exitmusic__'s second icon, below. *dies with frilly RDA*

And, the third way Jack and Daniel might supply themselves with BDSM toys would be to ask Sam where the sex-positive feminist sex toy shops are in Washington ('Are you sure it's still there, Sam?' Sam: *aghast and panicing* Daniel: Okay calm down, I'm sure they're still in business), so Jack can go there and stock up for Daniel's next visit. Point of fact, she also knows the great shops in Colorado Springs (and that took years of research! YEARS!) but refuses to accompany Daniel to help pick out whips and chains because that is too much information about her former CO. And no! She's not going to try on the cuffs for him! But she'll recommend a good dildo manufacturer (since she's a woman going through her sexual peak on her own, and knows something about dildos and self-love thank you very much)

Though she's kinda charmed by the way Daniel so blatantly flaunts DADT. (No! I'm not trying anything on for you! Ew, Daniel! Though I can recomment the velcro WITH buckles.)

From:

rydra_wong

Oh yes, I had already figured that Sam, as an engineer and a practically-minded woman, would have a proper appreciation for having the right tools for any job. And she would study up, both on anatomy and the finer points of oscillating motors and silicone hybrid materials and glycerin-free lubricants. She would know which products come with warranties, and what brands of battery burn your vibe out faster. She would be shy and embarrassed about it, but have this vast fund of knowledge, and a really well-stocked drawer. Sam would totally be a sex geek.

Though she's kinda charmed by the way Daniel so blatantly flaunts DADT

Well, technically it doesn't apply to him (civilian consultant and all that), and AFAIK he might actually be covered by federal anti-discrimination employment regulations. It's only if he sleeps with someone who is military that it's a problem (both because of that person's being bound by DADT and because it falls under "unprofessional relationships"). The risk would be that Daniel's being out would make other people more suspicious about who he might be sleeping with.

From:

http://users.livejournal.com/_minxy_/

It's only if he sleeps with someone who is military that it's a problem (both because of that person's being bound by DADT and because it falls under "unprofessional relationships").

*handwave* *handwave* (I learned that from Farscape)

But yes, I meant that, disapproving in principle of people needing to be closeted, he might see the upside of Jack moving to Washington being that he could be more out and generally just push limits, be a lightning rod, p'raps.

From:

rydra_wong

*handwave* *handwave* (I learned that from Farscape)

*snerks* Like you haven't had any handwaving practice with Stargate?

And yes, Daniel would be all about the principle of the thing.

From:

http://users.livejournal.com/_minxy_/

'ship? What 'ship?

Military regulations? What's THAT got to do with it?

Deliberately flaunting the rules and characters they themselves set up? Priceless.

Actually, with Stargate I either roll my eyes and ignore it or deliberately don't pay attention. Farscape smacks me over the head with supersoakers and vibrators and pipettemen, and it's MARVELOUS, so I pay attention and gleefully dance the handwavey dance *demonstrates*

Whole 'nuther thing entirely.

Also, I'd be willing to bet that while Daniel would be perfectly willing to be a lighning rod all by himself, other sex positive people would be more than happy to smoke screen Jack. You could see Janet coming over once a week for dinner just to confuse anyone watching... other scientists, really other civilian women would be supportive (and take time with Daniel anyway they could.)

Besides, what do you think happens to everyone's BDSM stuff when they go MIA and the SGC shuts down their apartment? It all goes to Janet, that's what happens. Woman IS the Colorado Springs BDSM warehouse. (only quality used goods! Discount prices! The rest she donates to the local YMCA, after a run through the washing machine, natch.)