(no subject)

[minxy]

Re: last post. I'm over the little insecurity attack I had there, but am seriously alarmed that the sharp downward turn my mood took during the migraine bout last week was partly to blame. I did some research today and discovered my main option if I have manic-depressive mood swings related to migraines is to Get Happy (tm) either by lifestyle control or drugs. The drugs would have to be a daily thing. So would the lifestyle change.

The lifestyle change recommended is to readdict myself to exercise. This seems like a much better option than my fairly unhelpful doctor. Plus, I'm kind of inclined to the ocean anyway.

They also recommend that I quit coffee (or, rather, just watch my intake) but as a certified coffee ADDICT, I really can't see how quitting would make me *happier*. Moderation without major swings in daily intake, I'll do.

Re: exercise, ocean, and addiction to same. I've been invited to join a sponsored team, who will provide race gear and such if I can provide practice gear and such. Yum. Now I gots to get the practice gear.

Re: penultimate post (or something like that). I got a migraine or two, and was less communicative in general last week (and moody as *hell*, but let's leave that aside.) I texted the guy I went out with once (to say I was sick and would respond when better) and then called Saturday-ish. He has called or texted every single day. I am not actually charmed by this. Plus the text exchange today was less than interesting, just wanting me to come up with something to do because he wanted to see me and do whatever. Beyond asking after my health, he doesn't do much that's interesting. But maybe that's the foul mood talking.

Tomorrow I go to the ocean. Or the gym, if I can't borrow ocean gear.

Comments

[nialla]

Caffeine is one of those "damned if you do, damned if you don't" things with migraines.

For me, just trying to maintain a balance works pretty well. I drink decaf iced tea (I'm Southern, it's a thing we do *g*), but every morning I drink a small Coke complete with sugar and caffeine. Caffeine is actually used in some migraine meds, because it can give them a little more punch, so my morning Coke (along with my meds) is my big fix of the day. If I try to drink much more than one, it tends to cause a headache.

I did quit cold turkey about 15 years ago. Didn't drink any soda with caffeine in it for about 5 years and still don't really crave it outside of my use of it as a preventative for headaches. I can't drink coffee anyway and did decaf for tea, and I didn't really miss it once I got past the withdrawal. I think the withdrawal was actually worse for my co-workers though, because they avoided my office for two weeks. That part was really cool, even though I couldn't fully enjoy it at the time. *g*

Hope you find a way to moderate that works for you. I know how hard it is when you're hurting like hell but to many around us we "look fine" and they can't figure out what the big deal is. I wish every one of those people exactly one migraine, just so they can understand what it does to you, and not just the pain. It can be a mild one even, I'm not that vindictive. *g*

[http://users.livejournal.com/_minxy_/]

I have been known to go without... it's just... I *like* coffee! I drink it black! And strong! (just like--nevermind)

But I normally drink exactly one travelmug's worth of coffee daily. And actually, one to two cups (measured cups, I presume, not Starbuck's Grandemochafrappuchinowithwhip cups) is the recommended moderate amount. Where I think I fall down is on weekends, when cool weather can double or triple the number of mugs of aromatic coffee I fetch. Or, alternatively, a day when I have a migraine and eat/drink *nothing*. So I'm working on consistency.

The lack of outward, visible symptoms is so strange. Because sometimes, it's other people who tell me that I look wrong. Too pale, too tired, too pained. The remark that I look just as bad as I feel usually prompts me to visit just how bad it really is, and often in trying to articulate that I realize I can't, and I have a migraine.

It is a wretched kind of pain, but I wish people who can't sympathize could find a way to empathize. One real migraine, just once. Yes.

[nialla]

Can you maybe try going half-caf for a bit, see if that helps any? You'd still get the flavor but without as much of that lovely caffeine. It's like what my father says about stopping smoking (almost two years now for him); it's the habit more than the actual craving itself that can cause problems, so just having something to fill that void can help.

I have a few people who can immediately tell by looking at me that I'm having a migraine. My mother (of course *g*), as well as one of my aunts (who's also a co-worker, so she's seen a lot of them by now), and my best friend. When I had a Rilly Rilly Bad One at Shore Leave con, my friend asked if I was going to die, and if not, just let her know if I thought that was going to change any time soon. Two other friends with us had never seen me with a migraine, and I swear they were ready to start finding the closest ER.

Do you get "warning signs" at all? I've found if I start feeling a migraine coming on, I can take a Darvocet and drink a Coke and it seems to stop the migraine or at least keep it from getting quite so bad.

I understand exactly what you mean about not being able to articulate the level of pain. My neurologist asks me to rate them on a scale of 1 to 10, and I just can't do it. They're "normal" for me now, to the point where someone else's 7 wouldn't even register as a 3 for me.

[http://users.livejournal.com/_minxy_/]

I have tons of aura, the problem is that both settling into migraines and being in a new climate are playing havoc with my ability to self diagnose. I do know, from family, that I am weather-triggered. High to low pressure systems short me out, and in Oregon the changes were dramatic and fast, and my Mom was nearby (and an avid weather channel fan). So I knew.

Here, man, it's all different. I don't think anything I eat or drink triggers me in the slightest. I do think exercise and keeping my caffeine intake on an even keel will make me less *sensitive.* And I take Imitrex, which works well on the obvious migraine symptoms--light/sound/smell sensitivity, vision changes, nausea, inability to form sentences and (let us not forget) pain.

What's funny is that people first notice that I'm pale, then if I ask, will freak out about my pupil size if they're dialated. And I can not only have trouble saying how much it hurts, I just have trouble *speaking*, particularly about what I want or feel, if I have to describe something.

The drop in mood, though, the serious drop in mood. Is new. And alarming.

Anyway, coffee--I think my daily intake is fine, honestly. It's two cups, max, in the morning only. It's on the weekend when I binge drink coffee because it's cool and I'm sitting and reading a book or something. On those days, I think the half-caf thing is a *brilliant* idea.

[jenlev.livejournal.com]

Yes to ocean as much as possible. :::hugs:::

[http://users.livejournal.com/_minxy_/]

Yeah. Boards are really expensive, though.

[jenlev.livejournal.com]

Worth every penny I think. :) Er...speaking as someone who has bought saddles in the past. ;)

[princessofg.livejournal.com]

way out on a limb here, but if my personal experience is any help to you I'm happy to offer it... Don't know how old you are, but I'm 47....the normal life cycle of the female does have an impact here, too, I think.... not that biology is destiny, but it does play a role.

My father has bipolar disorder -- very very extreme case. Depressed as a post-pubescent teen, classic suicide attempt as a college freshman, began the big high-low swings shortly after that. Had winter depression and summer manic swings for 20 years. Extremely difficult and hellish for all concerned. He got on lithium in his 40s and was a classic textbook responder to it: It literally evened him out, ended his depression, changed his personality for the better, smoothed over everything. It was nothing short of a miracle. It's like my family exists in two different Periods in History. We've all dealt with it. So I grew up under that cloud and it was very hard. My mom is a saint. Not an easy saint to live with, but a saint all the same. She had no help. I admire her courage so much.

My sister has the depression without the "up" swings. She was chronically depressed and had low self esteem and no one figured it out for years. Finally she got on antidepressants in her mid thirties and it changed her life amazingly. Got out of a toxic marriage, started a successful business, created herself instead of being a doormat.

I have always been labeled moody and intense. I self identified years ago that I had seasonal affect disorder. Twelve years ago when I moved from a dark urban shoebox to a picture-window house on the prairie, my personality changed a bunch.

having kids played hell with my hormones. I read a tantalizing tidbit three years ago that some WOMEN can develop a bipolar cycle as part of peri-menopause instead of the more classic young adult onset. I think this happened to me in 2003-- extreme winter blahs followed by my manic episode of slash. My creative high lasted over two years; I lost 20 pounds without trying, was down to three-four hours of sleep a night, had endless energy, did a lot of reckless enthusiastic things, nearly ruined my marriage, changed jobs, wrote a hundred thousand words in a year.... This UP phase ebbed slowly and I did not go into a deep depression afterward, thankfully. Coffee doesn't seem to affect me at all; downers are my drug of choice and the thing I have to watch. I am also a former smoker....

I've always had bad PMS, and it got a lot better after having had children...

To manage myself: Exercise helps me a GREAT DEAL, and keeping a journal has shown me how hormonal my energy is and also my sense of hope and buoyancy. Very tied to my monthly cycle. I'm trying to make this work for me instead of fighting it, now.

I think I can avoid the bipolar swings by watching my alcohol intake carefully and working wholistically on my workload and stress. The PMS symptoms are amenable to daily doses of magnesium/calcium/potassium/vitamin B complex. I never had migraines that I know of.

Mental health is such a continuum. My family issues and genetic background show me I must be careful; alcoholism and depression are rampant on both sides of my family but people are very slow to admit that.

My dad and my sister need medication to stay healthy, just as my mother in law needs her insulin to stay alive. Hopefully I don't need depression medication but I would take it if I needed it. I think there are several physiological bases for bipolar disorder; not everyone who has it responds to lithium. My sister tried four different antidepressants before finding one that agreed with her and had tolerable side effects. I have a former friend whose bipolar symptoms erupted when he gave up marijuana. That drug had masked his problem for years.

Hang in there. I feel sure you will find the answer that works for you but it might be a long period of trial and error and watching your own body is so key. We all have to be our own experts these days. Doctors can only do what they do; we have to tell them what's working. *hugs*

[http://users.livejournal.com/_minxy_/]

Wow, that's a lot of love in that post. Thanks for the trust.

There's no history of mental illness in my family, but I get migraines from both of my parents. What I know for certain is that I'm triggered by weather changes, pressure fronts and storm systems, and those transitions from Autumn chill to Indian Summer. All the other things (lifestyle and diet) I think are making me more sensitive, but they aren't triggers, per se. And magnesium suppliments etc, haven't worked for me in the past at all.

The depression I felt for the first time during this round may have been dehydration, may be a result of cutting back my exercising so severely after the racing season ended, may have been stress or blocked chi (as my massage therapist tells me.) What it is, though, is highly unusual for me. I'm a really happy person in general (kvetching on LJ notwithstanding,) and I rarely even get PMS.

My migraine symptoms, though, quite obviously play merry havoc with my brain chemistry. I can't *speak*, I can't open my eyes, sound is unbearable, smell is overpowering. I've been known to nearly pass out, get dizzy and only occasionally nauseous, but it happens occasionally.

So I have absolutely no trouble connecting a deep, unusual low in my mood to the migraine that preceeded it. It's just a question of figuring out what I need to do to stop that from happening again. Because it's only been the once, I'm convinced that I did something unusual to allow the situation, which I can remedy by not doing it again. If the temporary depression becomes a pattern I'll consider taking it to the medical community and seeing a neurologist.

I think. That's my current plan. Research indicates that manic-depressive mood shifts are recognized as being connected to migraines, but there's no particular course of treatment besides treating the depression.

[princessofg.livejournal.com]

I'm sure you are highly aware of your own triggers and so forth for the headaches; yay.

IMHO migraines in women are not very well understood by the medical community and it's my personal belief that the link among hormonal changes, depression, etc etc, is extremely likely and yet extremely difficult to track or diagnose and is very individual. Not all migraines are linked to hormones/cycles but some are.

The depression thing, if it's in any way related to your cycle and/or to the migraines, does bear watching.

And I only went into such detail about my own life because what was true for me at 20 was not true for me at 40.... it's amazing how our bodies change in all these weird ways over time, and I did not know that because I had avoided depression during college I was still going to be susceptible to it.

Best of luck in your ongoing stuff, and yes -- we all have our issues. *hugs* Luckily most of mine are fairly well under control at this point, lol. It's just hard to do what I know will help instead of giving in to the short term comfort fix.

[thepouncer.livejournal.com]

Low serotonin levels can bring on migraines, as I know far too well. And one way I know that a migraine might be approaching is when I want to kill everyone I encounter, for no real reason. SSRIs were vital for me in reducing the frequency and severity of migraines. You can also try OTC supplements: magnesium, co-enzyme Q-10, or butterbur (150 mgs/day). The butterbur my neurologist recommended has really helped.

If your regular doctor isn't helping, ask around about a neurologist who specializes in migraine treatment. It really can make a difference.

[http://users.livejournal.com/_minxy_/]

That made so much sense to me when I read it. A complete 'well, of COURSE' moment. I've tried otc supplements before but they didn't do a whole lot for me. I expect that exercise will do the trick (I really get a massive high out of being on the ocean, so it appeals) but if not, maybe trying the OTC stuff will get me that last step.

I'm holding the doctor in reserve right now. I know she'd give me a referral if I asked. I just don't know that I've exhausted my options yet with lifestyle balance.

It's really nice to know that the SSRIs helped. There is not enough research out there on migraines and associated unpleasantness.