Fic Posting
Jan. 8th, 2006 02:43 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
minxyTitle: The Principle of Exclusion
Rating: NC-17
Fandom: SG-1/Atlantis
Word Count: 6711
For:![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
kres, who said “next time write me porn!” and agentotter who said ‘let’s have a Samgetslaidathon, and look, aren’t Sam and Rodney and John hot together?’ or something to that effect.
Thanks to:rydra_wong, who is really an extraordinary beta. You're going right after my parents in the acceptance speech.
The Principle of Exclusion
Pauli exclusion principle: no two identical protons, neutrons or electrons may occupy the same quantum state. Exceptions: boson particles such as photons which form symmetric quantum states and have integer spin.
Exclusion: the act of forcing out someone or something. A deliberate act of omission.
Sam ran her hand down the walls of Atlantis as she walked, ridged fingerprints on preternaturally smooth surfaces. It was partly fatigue that she was touching things as she passed them, and partly the continued sense of awe that she’d finally made it here, that the place existed and she in it.
She still felt like anything was possible in Atlantis. Between the Ancient technology and the look of the place, Sam figured that her margin of error for everything was higher, that the possibility that the basic tenets of her science were false assumptions was greater, and that somehow the chances that anything could happen were higher than when she stepped through a wormhole.
She was not just visiting another planet, she was living in another galaxy.
And frankly, all the quarters looked the same, and she had no idea where she was.
She’d thought it best to stop and ask directions, but the first random door she knocked on (hoping silently that she wasn’t interrupting something important) turned out to be Sheppard’s. Colonel Sheppard, the man with the improbable room location, impossible hair and a habit of glaring at her like she had absolutely no right to be alive, was looking sort of adorably confused that she’d invaded his off-duty time.
She felt a little sheepish about that, but really she was more relieved that he wasn’t really scowling, and rather incredulous that his hair could do that.
“I’m really sorry, Colonel, but…” She gestured absently down the hall in larger than she meant to, really done with all this kind of way…
“My name is John.”
“Sorry?”
“Never mind. Lost?”
“Yeah.”
“It’s late.”
“You think that has something to do with it?”
“Maybe. You in guest quarters?”
“Um.”
“You’re in guest quarters. I’ll walk you there.”
“That’s nice of you.”
“Nice nothing, I don’t think you could follow directions now if they came taped to a coffee mug.”
“I miss coffee.”
“Don’t we all.” It was a sort of final statement, but Sam was too relieved that they were being pleasant to just let them lapse into silence.
“Did you have a favorite shop?”
“Well, not in McMurdo, but back home, yeah.”
“McKay keeps trying to get at my chocolate stash.” And there it was, the wall was back. And, oh yes, the scowl. “Did I say something?”
“He’s very persistant. I’m sure he’ll wear you down eventually.”
“McKay?”
“Yes, Rodney.”
“Just wanted to make sure. I believe you on the persistence thing, but he was never around long enough to actually wear me down on anything.”
“Wha-“ Sheppard stopped in his tracks, which meant Sam did too, since she still didn’t know exactly where she was.
“What wha?”
“That is not the same line I heard.”
“About what?”
“About you and Rodney.” His voice was hitching up a couple of octaves, like a teenager. It would be cute if he didn’t sound like he was whining quite so much.
“Me and Rodney? There is no me and Rodney.” She was trying to follow the conversation. Honest she was.
“So,” John’s voice returned to normal, and so did his eyebrows, “Was there? Ever? Because Rodney has indicated…”
“No and indicated what, exactly?” Sam was beginning to get suspicious of whether she had an unearned reputation in Atlantis.
“Siberia wasn’t because of you?”
“Oh hell no. Well, he had insulted me straight for 4 days while my planet and various members of my team were in danger, so I wasn’t at all upset to find I wouldn’t have to keep working with the guy, but ultimately we did manage to work together to save the planet, and that endeared him to me somewhat. Plus, he’s so easy to tease… but that’s about all. Four days of insults and creeping me out.” Sheppard was looking increasingly more relaxed, Sam was getting increasingly more worried. “Tell me he didn’t write ‘for a good time, call Sam’ on the men’s room wall.”
“I like you, Colonel.” Sheppard said, resuming the walk down the hall at an easy amble.
“Well, thank you. Think you could maybe call me Sam?”
“Sure, I’m John.” He held out his hand and she shook it, awkwardly, while still walking.
“Did we sort of do this earlier?”
“You didn’t seem to be keeping up.”
“Sorry, it’s a bit late.”
“I noticed. Don’t make me pay attention to your work hours too, Sam. This is probably your floor, d’you remember where your quarters are now?”
“Hey. Yeah, I think they’re over here. Yup.”
“Good.”
“Thanks, John.”
“You too, Sam.”
“Right,” She said, not really listening, “Sleep well.”
“If there are no more interruptions I should.” They sleepily grinned in opposite directions, heading to their respective rooms.
~~~
Sam overslept a bit the next day, ending up in the mess after the breakfast rush, rather than before it. Spotting Rodney at a table with John and Teyla, she figured she’d join them, despite Rodney looking like he was near the end of his meal; she and John had had a moment the night before, after all. Although it remained to be seen whether they could be friendly in the presence of Rodney, there was no time like the present to test it out.
Standing in line for her rubbery sort of oatmeal, she watched them in a distracted sort of way. John reminded her of Colonel O’Neill, a little bit. Although it could be his enthusiasm for oatmeal, which she just didn’t get.
The lunch lady (they would always be lunch ladies, even at breakfast, even as an adult) handed her a bowl and asked if she wanted berries. Sam said yes.
But not General O’Neill. John reminded her of Jack a few years back. Before the promotion, before things got awkward with the team. Intellectually, she knew now why the team dynamics of SG-1 had changed the way they did, but there was no guarantee that things would fall out the same way in Atlantis. This breakfast would be full of experiments and thoughts to test out, it would seem.
“Hey guys,” Sam said, approaching the table as Rodney gestured with his spoon, “Mind if I..”
“Sure, Sam,” John cut her off, “Pull up an uncomfortable chair.” McKay looked sharply from Sam to John as his jaw dropped open and she slid in smoothly next to John.
“What the hell?” Rodney’s spoon slipped, forgotten, onto the table.
“What?” John teased.
“When did you two get all cozy?”
“Last night, about 11, would you say?” Sam grinned as she began eating.
“I think it was later. I was sound asleep, you know.”
“It’s hard to tell, with the hair.”
“Right.”
“I’m SORRY?” Rodney spat at Sam.
“I got lost and inconsiderately knocked on Colonel Sheppard’s door trying to get my bearings, and he walked me home.”
“Very chivalrous, did you carry her books too?” Rodney had turned on Sheppard, but the tone was a little less biting.
“Rodney,” John began.
“Chivalry nothing, rudeness goes a long way with John.” Sam paused and looked pointedly at the sputtering Rodney before he could appeal to John to deny anything. “You know, you could really work that angle, McKay.”
“What? And why am I McKay and he’s John all of a sudden?” Sam sighed inwardly as McKay turned pained eyes in John’s direction.
“Rodney, seriously, there’s no reason to get all panicky.”
“Because you are, and he is, and you guys would be perfect for each other.” Sam shrugged, noticing the gleam in Teyla’s eyes across from her at the table. “Am I right? John and McKay?”
“I am thoroughly in agreement, Colonel Carter.”
“Tell me I can get you to call me Sam.”
“Of course, Sam.” Teyla said deliberately, and with a small smile.
“Oh, thank goodness.” Sam grinned. Nine years, almost ten and she’d never gotten Teal’c to use her name. Teyla was warmer. Still spoke in that sort of formal way, but she had an openness to her.
“Can we get back to the topic at hand?” Rodney interjected irritably.
“I’d really be okay if we didn’t.” John interjected, clearly a little alarmed by the turn in the conversation.
“Does the subject of relationships between fellows disturb you, John?” Teyla asked, picking up the ball rather nicely, Sam thought, though she did tend to pronounce everyone’s first name a bit too carefully.
John and Rodney sputtered a bit, so Sam said easily to Teyla, “Well, in the military regulations in our country back on Earth, relationships between coworkers, fellow soldiers are forbidden.”
“Let alone between fellows, Colonel.” John said, using her rank.
“The British do just fine with it.” She grinned at him. “Ask Carson about it sometime.” She caught herself gesturing with her spoon, like Daniel did, and managed to turn her attention to her oatmeal.
“Ask… What? No!” John sputtered and shivered, “You’re evil. I so didn’t need that mental image.” Sam continued to grin at him even as she noticed Rodney’s eyes go wide.
“We do not have such restrictions,” Teyla offered. “Why would your military wish to prohibit comradeship if it eased the pain and burden of war?”
“They don’t believe it does, think it is a distraction, I suppose.” Sam felt the sour berries pop in her mouth.
“More chain of command, really.” John was rallying, so that was good. Puppy dog eyes were not a good way to look sexy, really.
“Not for homosexual relationships, and not for women, not really.”
“How the hell did this become breakfast table conversation?” Rodney said with awe.
“Please explain, Sam.” Teyla requested.
“Yeah, for women?” John was interested too, though he might have been latching onto a way to divert the conversation.
“Well, homosexual relationships are not approved of at all by the US military, though that may be changing, if slowly.” John rolled his eyes as she spoke, “But for women it’s a mistake to get involved with anyone, no matter if it’s a man or a woman.”
“This isn’t going to be some feminist double standard tirade, is it?” McKay said with narrowed eyes.
“No, just a statement of fact.” Sam said with a smile in Rodney’s direction, “It’s hard for women in a field based on strength. People will assume you got there by the most efficient way possible, and if you give any hint that you slept your way ahead people will run with it.”
“You really believe that?” John asked.
“I followed all the rules and you broke them and yet here we are, the same rank.”
“Good point,” he said, “Sorry.”
“Don’t need to apologize, we’re all on the same side.”
“So you have never had the comfort of a relationship with a fellow warrior, who could understand what you had experienced?” Teyla asked with wonder.
“I didn’t say never, but I’ve learned my lesson. Haven’t dated another soldier in almost 15 years.” Teyla sat back, a curious look on her face.
“But…” Rodney sputtered, “There were all those rumors about you and O’Neill!”
“Way to prove her point, Rodney.” John said out of the corner of his mouth.
“It’s not a double standard, the same rumors go on about you and Elizabeth.” Rodney retorted.
“What?” John asked with alarm.
“You mean those aren’t true? Well, that’s a relief.”
“No! Will you quit trying to hook me up with everyone in the city? I haven’t done half the stuff you’ve accused me of.”
“Wait, which half have you done then?”
Sam could barely hold back her smile as she lay her spoon down. “I wouldn’t throw stones, McKay. I may start a few rumors myself just to get back at you for ruining my reputation and saying we’d dated. Do you mind, John? I mean, you’ve been hooked up with everyone else through the rumor mill.”
“Hey, what’s one more?”
“But…” McKay was kind of cute when he sputtered, Sam thought, as all of them grinned at Rodney, “I’m not gay,” he finished lamely.
John hid the flinch well, Sam thought. “Listen, McKay, you owe me. Couldn’t be just a little bit gay for me?”
McKay did a double take. “Did you just invite me into a threesome?”
Sam snorted and picked up her tray as Teyla did the same. They wished the boys a good breakfast; though Rodney was busy asking John if he’d heard what Sam had just said, and probably didn’t even hear them.
“I have long wondered if I should speak with Colonel Sheppard and Dr. McKay about why they had not begun a relationship they were both so clearly suited for, but I think it would not have gone as well as the one you conducted just now.” Teyla said thoughtfully as they walked down a corridor together.
“Spotted that, did you?” Sam asked, smiling. “Sometimes it helps to hear it from someone who follows the same rules, grew up in the same culture.”
“You did it very well.” Teyla commented. “And I learned information that explains a great deal about this culture.”
“Really? Like what?” Sam asked curiously.
“Colonel Carter,” Teyla changed topics. “I have noticed that you are spending a majority of your time working in the science labs, but am reminded that you are in fact a soldier. If you would like to exercise during breaks from your science work, I would offer to spar with you. I am curious to see how you fight.”
Sam glanced at the other woman’s face, trying to make out the expression there, but came up empty and only able to answer the question she was asked. “I’d love to, but we likely have very different styles, and will have to adapt somewhat.”
“I am capable of this.” Teyla remarked.
“Then I look forward to it, but I still expect you to call me Sam, even when we aren’t teasing Sheppard and McKay.” She stopped at an intersection of a hallway. Teyla smiled enigmatically and bowed her head slightly as she turned away and walked to the left. Sam watched her for a moment before looking up and trying to figure out which direction would take her to the science labs.
~~~
Well, this was a most unusual situation.
John had asked her over, specified that Rodney wouldn’t be there, he just would like her company, if, you know, she ever got lost heading back from the science labs again.
Sam figured he might want to take her to task for so blatantly trying to get Rodney to consider him romantically, but there was also the off chance that he just wanted to talk to someone about it.
She said she’d bring chocolate, figuring it would work as a peace offering just in case it was the former. Unfortunately, McKay overheard that part.
Or maybe it was a fortunate thing, who knows? It was certainly new territory for her.
I think some of us are confused about who is coming between whom, here.
What? You’re the one trying to get her chocolate!
Do you want me to come back another time?
Sam, if you leave now this is likely to turn homicidal.
Right.
Still, she wasn’t entirely sure where she got off telling McKay that scientists were supposed to be observant and kissing him back on his heels before turning him, wide eyed, to face a very near John on the other side of him. McKay all but leaned his entire weight back on her, as if John were likely to hit him at any moment. Sam wrapped her arms warmly about Rodney and rested her chin on his shoulder. John’s eyes on hers were tentative, but the kiss he gave her was sweet, if a little shaky.
Rodney had one hand fisted in the pant leg of her uniform as he tracked John’s movement away from Sam and leaned in to kiss him chastely and impulsively before he got too far away. As they moved their faces apart looking a little stunned, she ran her hands up their arms encouragingly, and their lips met one more time, but it was quick. Rodney rocked precariously in place and looked back over his shoulder pleadingly as he twisted his hand deeper into the fabric of her uniform.
Even if I were slightly interested, in a purely speculative, manly way, he’s straight! He’s straighter than a very straight thing!
McKay, there is only one way to test a theory like that.
Right, because he’s just inching to get over here and get into my pants, I can tell.
Maybe if you quit talking, Rodney.
What? I’m sorry if I have a tendency to want an explanation when a former coworker who I thought was totally my type shows up one day and tells me that I was all wrong about that and in fact should be attracted to a current, very not blonde male coworker…
McKay, seriously, it’s time to shut up.
I LIKE blondes! He’s not even blonde. And he’s straight!
Right, John, I’m going to need one more shot of whatever that Athosian drink is.
You and me both, Sam.
Sam ducked under John’s arm to form a triangle with the two men. Rodney, with an impossibly stricken look on his face, watched her unzip his jacket and slide it off his shoulders. John had asked her very softly if she could stay with them, if she would please stay, and she agreed, smoothing one hand over his face.
John, exhaling, removed Rodney’s fist from Sam’s pant leg and began unfastening her belt. She had kissed him reassuringly, and then kissed Rodney, who had shifted his hand to her shoulder, where he clung as if to a lifeline.
Is this because of me or you?
You, both of you. And me too.
Sam? These are high stakes.
I know. This is a trial, a test. If things are awkward later, you blame me, okay? If I’m wrong, just… wait until I’m gone and then blame me for everything, okay?
I won’t blame you.
I will. I definitely will.
Okay then.
Sam, in her shirt and with bare legs, began slowly helping John out of his jacket. When Rodney caught up and started working him out of his shirt Sam redirected her attention to his belt and together they helped John shed his clothes.
What does… how does it feel?
You’ll see. It’s good.
Both men had dexterous fingers, though McKay’s were stuttering a bit with nervousness and she kept a hand on his arm reassuringly. John was running his hand down the small of her back and over her ass, bottle of lube ready in the other hand. Sam tried to remember the last time someone had done this for her, the last time she had asked, tried to remember that the universe was not revolving around John’s finger drawing circles on her skin. After all, she had McKay in front of her as well, though he was increasingly preoccupied with watching the movements of John’s arm over her shoulder as he prepared his fingers.
Sam, do we continue with this?
Oh yeah, and McKay don’t you stop either.
Yeah, okay. Right.
Bed, then.
On the bed, Sam knelt before John as he came into her, slowly, from behind. John braced her hips as she leaned forward onto Rodney’s shoulder and pushed against him for leverage. Rodney tentatively brought his hands up to hold her upper arms, all of them still as John began running his hands up and down her back in long strokes.
Sam shifted in Rodney’s embrace to breathe into his neck. John began to move, Sam felt Rodney’s head turn to watch him behind her.
GOD.
Are you okay?
God. Good, that was good.
There?
Jesus. Yeah. McKay?
Yeah?
Give me your hand…
She came hard, Rodney’s hands within and without, John moving deeply and skillfully inside her. She almost collapsed with the heat of it, the distraction, but John was strong and held her up as Rodney watched her face in fascination.
She let them handle her onto the bed, blissfully oblivious. There must have been a removal of condom, they had to have collaborated getting her comfortable, but Sam blinked back into the two men focusing a little too much on her. She ran hands over their hips, waists, whatever she could reach to distract them. The angle was weird, with them kneeling over her.
Okay?
Yeah, definitely. Did you? God, John. Come here.
I held back… God. Keep doing that.
No, stop doing that, you’re tired. I can do that. I think.
It’s not… God, Rodney. It’s not hard. Do whatever would feel good to you.
Actually, it’s getting hard.
McKay, please shut up.
It was an incredible view, the two men over her, a hand each braced on each other’s shoulders and gripping hard, and another tentatively reaching across to stroke. McKay watching John’s face with wonder and John focused on Rodney’s cock moving through his hand.
Wait.
What wait? What’s I do wrong?
Nothing, Rodney, nothing. I just… can you stop a second? Maybe lay back?
Why lay back, what?
It’ll be good McKay, put your head here and turn over? Lay on you back.
Yeah, that… you can tell me to stop, Rodney. Anytime, just say so.
Rodney lay back on Sam’s stomach, apparently stunned into silence. She liked the effect and affectionately ran a hand over his chest and nipples, he shuddered and looked at her as John moved around the bed. Sam let him grab her hand hard and smiled at him, looking down McKay’s body just in time to see John run hands up Rodney’s legs and to his groin, letting his mouth follow.
Rodney nearly twisted Sam’s hand off as John gave the first wide-tongued lick along his cock. Rodney had been entranced, eyes fixated on John’s crazy unbelievable hair, but now as John’s fingers dug into his hip and his head bobbed slowly and shallowly at his groin, Rodney looked away, aside, up… Sam thought he was fascinating like this, overwhelmed and out of control and the center of attention, but most importantly, speechless. Rodney, head thrown back into Sam’s stomach and gasping, inched his free hand towards John’s, and though John kept his upper arm firmly over Rodney’s hip, he allowed his hand to be captured and the fingers laced with Rodney’s. Watching, Sam wasn’t even sure they were aware of doing it, but then Rodney looked back down at John, gaze steady.
Sam. God!
Yeah. You good?
YEAH. Yeah. But if I wanted…
What? Fingers or all of it?
I don’t know.
If you think you might like it, it’s worth it. You can start slowly.
Rodney made the most amazing sounds, so much more expressive than the usual arrogant to sarcastic scale she was used to. She saw Sheppard’s fingers flex and strain holding Rodney’s hand, watched them work their fingers together. McKay suddenly closed his eyes and groaned deeply in response to something John had done, opening them to look directly into Sam’s eyes. She reached up behind her head for the lube on the small table where it had been placed.
McKay, here. If you want more.
God yes, God! More.
Hand him this.
Rodney eased onto his hands and knees over her, eyes still a little panicked. John’s eyes were riveted to Rodney’s body, though he was trying to drag them away, applying pressure to the base of his cock, trying to regain some distance from his own orgasm, hold onto the presence of mind needed to get a condom on. To give him time, Sam ran her hands over Rodney’s face, shoulders, chest, rib cage, in a weird sort of post-orgasmic cuddle. She arched up to kiss him as she gently ran her palms over his nipples.
Okay?
Very okay, just warn me what’s coming, right?
It’s John now. Relax, as much as you can. Focus.
John looked to be pushing excruciatingly slowly into Rodney, but as Sam mimicked John’s soothing strokes along Rodney’s torso she whispered at him to relax, and after what seemed like a very long time, the faces of both men calmed into something much less strained and they started moving.
Holy shit. John.
Y’okay?
Yeah. John.
Rodney was lagging behind John in the race to the finish, though they were both close; the strain on John’s features as he fought for control was evident, but Rodney still wore the breathless and surprised look he’d had since John first started moving. Running her hands along his skin to give him plenty of warning, Sam reached for Rodney’s cock and shifted to get an agreeable angle. He was mostly hard, having recovered from the shock of penetration to begin enjoying himself, but he seemed to remember himself under her hands and hardened as he met her eyes. She didn’t see recognition in them.
As she pulled and John rocked, Rodney’s face wore lust and heat and transitioned into something harsher, pained. He dropped to his elbows, burying his face in Sam’s abdomen and breathing harshly. She felt teeth in her skin. As his moans reverberated through her ribcage, Sam whispered permission to come, told him to come for John as her hands got rougher, stronger. Rodney chokingly stuttered John’s name and was echoed back with his own in a low pleading moan. Rodney fisted the sheet and pulled Sam’s hip as his body seized. She followed his motion backwards towards John with her hand, even as John dug his fingers into Rodney’s shoulders and slammed his hips into the other man’s thighs, almost jarring them off balance and holding the position for a beat before pulling back and thrusting again with a pleading moan. He swore unintelligibly into the small of Rodney’s back as he surged and quieted.
Rodney recovered enough to turn his face over his shoulder and see John roll off him, still groaning. As John gained control of his breath and voice, Rodney leaned down and kissed him. Not the shy closed-mouth kiss from earlier, but a fully committed kiss, with lips and mouth and tongue and body behind it. And John, floppy from his exertions, found the strength to raise an arm to wrap around Rodney’s head to receive the kiss, and hold him near when they stopped to puff gentle breaths into each other’s faces.
Sam watched them. Kissing, breathing each other’s air, holding each other close, searching looks on their faces.
When Rodney ran out of strength and fell back to the bed, and Sam’s belly and waist, he looked at her, finally. She smiled at him and carded his hair.
Worth it.
Good.
They fell asleep braided together, Rodney’s head on Sam’s stomach, and John spent on Rodney’s outstretched arm, legs hanging off the foot of the small bed.
Sam was staring at the ceiling, and cold.
Carefully, so as not to wake Rodney, she substituted a pillow for her stomach and settled his head there; but he barely stumbled in his snoring, so it’s possible that she needn’t have bothered.
Because of course Rodney snored.
It wasn’t so hard to smile.
She pulled the sheet up from the ground and wound it around them a bit, claiming the blanket for herself, and walked to the window to watch the ocean.
Atlantis really was a beautiful city.
“Are you okay?” John asked quietly, sleepily, from his seat on the end of the bed.
“I’m good. Don’t wake him.” He joined her at the window, grabbing shorts on the way.
“Are we okay?” John asked her, concern in his voice. “I really didn’t mean for this…”
“We’re fine. Are you cold?” She offered a wrap of her blanket to him. He refused and instead wrapped his arms around her and rested his chin on her shoulder. It was a good fit. “I needed to know.”
“About me?” He lifted his chin to try to get a look at her face. “About Rodney?”
“No, just my own thing.”
“’Kay, that makes no sense to me.”
They stood for a minute at the window, gazing at the black water reflecting moonlight and starlight until John cleared his throat a bit and said, “Like I was trying to say earlier, this wasn’t me, or us, using you. This… I owe you so much. I would have tried not to ever say anything, and you made it unnecessary.”
“Better than being in the middle of things, or letting it drag out for years.” Sam turned a bit in his arms. “You guys going to be okay?”
“God, I hope so.”
“It was good for me, John. I have no regrets.”
“But…” He prompted.
“But this is your bed, and I’m going to give you back your blanket now, and try to find my quarters. Let you sleep.”
He watched her face carefully for a moment, and then bent down and fitted his mouth to hers. Sam felt in that kiss the skill she’d felt in bed, the pressure and angle and give and take all perfect. She felt the promise she’d seen in the kiss with Rodney, but knew, that at the end, there was no arm to hold her near him, no passion so fierce behind the emotion that he couldn’t bear the idea of her leaving. She pressed back into the kiss with every reassurance, all the warmth she could muster standing there in her bare feet, and stepped back, blinking the sting from her eyes.
John helped her dress, finding her clothes and holding the blanket while she straightened herself enough to maneuver public corridors. Finally, she took the blanket back from him and ushered him back into his small, occupied bed. Fitting himself around Rodney, John adjusted pillows, and Rodney to some degree, as Sam smoothed the sheet and pulled the blanket over them for the night. Leaving, she heard them murmuring to one another, and noticed that Rodney had shifted enough to wrap around John.
Sam turned away and left them to sleep. She found her quarters without trouble, but she dragged her fingers along the wall to get there.
~~~
For the first time since coming to Atlantis, Sam took to take a day off; wrapped herself in blankets and sat out on her balcony, salt wind in her face.
The knock on the door was something of a shock in the silence, but Teyla’s serene presence on the other side of the door had a balancing effect. Sam smiled at her.
“Colonel Carter.” There was the half nod of the head that so reminded her of Teal’c sometimes.
“Hi. How are you?’’ Sam was doing some mental calculations and aside from escorts no one had ever dropped by her quarters.
Of course, that was likely due at least in part to the fact that she was more likely to be found in the lab than lazing about her room, but anyway.
“I am well. Colonel Sheppard was in fact, concerned that it was you who was unwell and asked me to come and speak with you.” There was a muffled choking sound to Sam’s left outside the door and her eyeline, but Teyla’s light smirk at the sound identified her companion.
“John, did you just send Teyla to do your dirty work?” Sam asked over Teyla’s shoulder.
“No,” came the disembodied reply, followed by a shifty looking Sheppard peeking around the doorframe, “She was on her way anyway.” Teyla’s look of half rolled eyes and half disbelief confirmed for Sam the patent nonsense of that statement.
“I merely stated that I intended to ask Colonel Carter if she wished to join me in the sparring room. I did not indicate the matter was urgent.”
“Could have come yourself, John.”
“Didn’t know if you wanted to see me.”
“That explains why you did not reveal yourself then?” Teyla asked with an eyebrow half arched.
“Well,” John dropped to a mumble, looking alternately between the two women and at his feet, “Rodney said you hadn’t left your room and hadn’t gone to the labs so I thought, maybe you’d like some company to come to you.”
“But not your company.”
“Wasn’t sure.”
“Is not using internal sensors to track individual movements contrary to…”
“Eh, hey hey now, who’s side are you on, Teyla?’
“I dunno John. That’s pretty bad. I wouldn’t have objected to your company before but now I don’t know if I can be seen with you today, what with you stalking me.”
“Indeed, I believe we must banish him from our presence.”
Sam made a sympathetic face. “Mission accomplished, Colonel, but unfortunately, you are banished.” John gave Sam a good look to make sure her mirth at teasing him was genuine and then proceeded to pout his way back down the hallway, theatrically.
“You’ll miss me.”
“No we will not.”
“Teyla,” Sam began, “Would you like to come in? I’d offer tea but I don’t have a way to make any.”
“If you would like some tea, I can offer you an Athosian version in my quarters.” Teyla offered interestedly.
“What’s in it?” Sam asked, knowing she probably wouldn’t know the right vocabulary to understand what Teyla would tell her.
They talked of meaningless things in Teyla’s cozy space, Sam sitting on the bed with her fingers buried in soft blankets and Teyla in one of the room’s two chairs nearby, until she finally looked pointedly at Sam commented that Colonel Sheppard and Dr. McKay were very happy lately.
Sam smiled at her directness. “Did you ask them why?”
“I received an insufficient explanation.”
“Really?”
“Yes, but my actual inquiry may have been poorly phrased. I inquired as to why they seemed so happy and yet were so concerned that you were not.”
“It’s magnanimous of them, wouldn’t you agree?”
“I assume you were involved in convincing them to consider each other as potential lovers.”
“Yup, I actually got more involved than I expected to.” Teyla raised her eyebrows at that, but otherwise looked fairly non-plussed. It was nice to speak freely about delicate subjects. She didn’t remember being able to do it in recent memory.
“Did they then treat you inappropriately?”
“No, no. They were dolls. Both of them. But it wasn’t about me, and they knew and I knew and we were still all there together.” Sam had drifted her focus to the wall and was a bit surprised when Teyla spoke.
“So they feared that they had offended you by ignoring you.”
“Well, it was an unusual thing to do, and none of us really knew how to react. It’s touching that they care enough to…” Sam clamped her mouth shut against the catch in her throat escaping.
When she glanced at Teyla, the other woman was simply looking at her, waiting for her to continue. At the look, Teyla favored her with a half smile, a rueful smile.
“I knew two men like them on Earth, back home. Didn’t see it for what it was, got caught up in the games between them, but I thought it was all about me at that time. I made things worse. Granted, they started it, but the reality is that I could have loved either of them, if they’d needed me to, or even wanted me to. But it was the wrong read. Not girlfriend, not wife. That’s not what it was, for any of us. I just don’t know why I kept trying to force it.”
There was a fuzzy silence between them, while Sam’s senses filled with the aromatic tea and the soft pelts on Teyla’s bed. Teyla broke the silence with measured tones. “I have observed that many of you, from Earth, are attached to very rigid expectations of a partner or a lover.”
“In what way?” Sam asked, relaxing back onto her elbows.
“You expect quite a grand romantic love, when not every life has room for such passion and compromise with another life. Must your ideal of happiness be so restricting?”
“I’m not sure I understand.”
“Athosians live with the knowledge that life may be cut short at any time. We do not hold with ideas that require us to search for particular kinds of love when others may be right in front of our eyes. It is difficult enough to find a partner of similar mind and desires, is it not?” Sam nodded and watched Teyla closely as she followed her words.
“It seems unreasonable,” she continued, “To further require that a lover must also be restricted to males, to those able to provide, to a life with children and a safe place to live or to those who come from the same place we do.”
“You’re saying,” Sam leaned forward, making the connection, understanding, “That uncommon people must not expect common lives.”
“That is most apt, yes.”
“I think you might be right about that.” Sam spoke very low, with a sense of wonder that Teyla was there, listening, making great insights into her life.
“You have never considered the company of another like yourself in love.” Teyla stated.
“Well, not… only men, never a woman.” Sam was suddenly hyperaware of how her hip pressed into mattress, the feel of the fur through the fabric at her elbow, the heat of Teyla’s knee near hers. What the hell? Sam thought. “I’m beginning to wonder if I was wrong to not consider that. I think I may have been wrong about a number of things.”
Teyla’s wry half smile grew to a grin as she leaned forward and focused her attention on Sam’s face from a very short distance away. Sam found herself looking back and forth between her mouth and eyes for some clue as to what she would do, not realizing that her lips had parted slightly to allow for hot breath to escape. Teyla’s fingers brushed the hair at her temple, feeling the consistency. Glance flickering away from her eyes for a moment, Teyla deliberately tilted her head slightly and pressed her lips warmly to Sam’s forehead.
Sam started when Teyla pulled away, her skin tingling where Teyla’s thumb ran over the place her mouth had been. She was raising her hands to find Teyla’s shoulders, ready to follow her as she pulled away, but Teyla’s breath was still on her skin. She had moved her face to the side of Sam’s to whisper “I can make it about you.”
Sam turned her head minutely, just feeling her cheekbone brush Teyla’s jawline, her fingers rising to run thoughtfully over Teyla’s collarbone at the edge of her vest in Sam’s peripheral vision. She ran a fingertip under the edge of the vest and felt Teyla pause, marveled at her ability to hold so still. The heat from Teyla’s body so close was almost palpable and Sam could smell the leather of her vest, the soap in her hair, the spices she’d added to the tea. Sam was suddenly overcome with the desire to feel Teyla’s bodyweight, to know whether it would ground her, trap her, inspire her, to be underneath it, wrapped around her.
Leaning forward the barest of inches, Sam trailed her lips gently down Teyla’s neck. She could feel Teyla’s pulse beating under the kiss, felt her own beating in her ears.
Felt Teyla’s hand run across her shoulderblades and up her neck, to rest lightly on the back of her head, to hold her near.
Smiling, Sam pulled slowly back as she considered whether the basic tenets of her thinking were completely wrong or merely outdated, then gave up thinking as Teyla’s mouth met hers and there was strength there, and longing, and need.
Anything was possible in Atlantis.
end.
Rating: NC-17
Fandom: SG-1/Atlantis
Word Count: 6711
For:
kres, who said “next time write me porn!” and agentotter who said ‘let’s have a Samgetslaidathon, and look, aren’t Sam and Rodney and John hot together?’ or something to that effect.Thanks to:
rydra_wong, who is really an extraordinary beta. You're going right after my parents in the acceptance speech.The Principle of Exclusion
Pauli exclusion principle: no two identical protons, neutrons or electrons may occupy the same quantum state. Exceptions: boson particles such as photons which form symmetric quantum states and have integer spin.
Exclusion: the act of forcing out someone or something. A deliberate act of omission.
Sam ran her hand down the walls of Atlantis as she walked, ridged fingerprints on preternaturally smooth surfaces. It was partly fatigue that she was touching things as she passed them, and partly the continued sense of awe that she’d finally made it here, that the place existed and she in it.
She still felt like anything was possible in Atlantis. Between the Ancient technology and the look of the place, Sam figured that her margin of error for everything was higher, that the possibility that the basic tenets of her science were false assumptions was greater, and that somehow the chances that anything could happen were higher than when she stepped through a wormhole.
She was not just visiting another planet, she was living in another galaxy.
And frankly, all the quarters looked the same, and she had no idea where she was.
She’d thought it best to stop and ask directions, but the first random door she knocked on (hoping silently that she wasn’t interrupting something important) turned out to be Sheppard’s. Colonel Sheppard, the man with the improbable room location, impossible hair and a habit of glaring at her like she had absolutely no right to be alive, was looking sort of adorably confused that she’d invaded his off-duty time.
She felt a little sheepish about that, but really she was more relieved that he wasn’t really scowling, and rather incredulous that his hair could do that.
“I’m really sorry, Colonel, but…” She gestured absently down the hall in larger than she meant to, really done with all this kind of way…
“My name is John.”
“Sorry?”
“Never mind. Lost?”
“Yeah.”
“It’s late.”
“You think that has something to do with it?”
“Maybe. You in guest quarters?”
“Um.”
“You’re in guest quarters. I’ll walk you there.”
“That’s nice of you.”
“Nice nothing, I don’t think you could follow directions now if they came taped to a coffee mug.”
“I miss coffee.”
“Don’t we all.” It was a sort of final statement, but Sam was too relieved that they were being pleasant to just let them lapse into silence.
“Did you have a favorite shop?”
“Well, not in McMurdo, but back home, yeah.”
“McKay keeps trying to get at my chocolate stash.” And there it was, the wall was back. And, oh yes, the scowl. “Did I say something?”
“He’s very persistant. I’m sure he’ll wear you down eventually.”
“McKay?”
“Yes, Rodney.”
“Just wanted to make sure. I believe you on the persistence thing, but he was never around long enough to actually wear me down on anything.”
“Wha-“ Sheppard stopped in his tracks, which meant Sam did too, since she still didn’t know exactly where she was.
“What wha?”
“That is not the same line I heard.”
“About what?”
“About you and Rodney.” His voice was hitching up a couple of octaves, like a teenager. It would be cute if he didn’t sound like he was whining quite so much.
“Me and Rodney? There is no me and Rodney.” She was trying to follow the conversation. Honest she was.
“So,” John’s voice returned to normal, and so did his eyebrows, “Was there? Ever? Because Rodney has indicated…”
“No and indicated what, exactly?” Sam was beginning to get suspicious of whether she had an unearned reputation in Atlantis.
“Siberia wasn’t because of you?”
“Oh hell no. Well, he had insulted me straight for 4 days while my planet and various members of my team were in danger, so I wasn’t at all upset to find I wouldn’t have to keep working with the guy, but ultimately we did manage to work together to save the planet, and that endeared him to me somewhat. Plus, he’s so easy to tease… but that’s about all. Four days of insults and creeping me out.” Sheppard was looking increasingly more relaxed, Sam was getting increasingly more worried. “Tell me he didn’t write ‘for a good time, call Sam’ on the men’s room wall.”
“I like you, Colonel.” Sheppard said, resuming the walk down the hall at an easy amble.
“Well, thank you. Think you could maybe call me Sam?”
“Sure, I’m John.” He held out his hand and she shook it, awkwardly, while still walking.
“Did we sort of do this earlier?”
“You didn’t seem to be keeping up.”
“Sorry, it’s a bit late.”
“I noticed. Don’t make me pay attention to your work hours too, Sam. This is probably your floor, d’you remember where your quarters are now?”
“Hey. Yeah, I think they’re over here. Yup.”
“Good.”
“Thanks, John.”
“You too, Sam.”
“Right,” She said, not really listening, “Sleep well.”
“If there are no more interruptions I should.” They sleepily grinned in opposite directions, heading to their respective rooms.
~~~
Sam overslept a bit the next day, ending up in the mess after the breakfast rush, rather than before it. Spotting Rodney at a table with John and Teyla, she figured she’d join them, despite Rodney looking like he was near the end of his meal; she and John had had a moment the night before, after all. Although it remained to be seen whether they could be friendly in the presence of Rodney, there was no time like the present to test it out.
Standing in line for her rubbery sort of oatmeal, she watched them in a distracted sort of way. John reminded her of Colonel O’Neill, a little bit. Although it could be his enthusiasm for oatmeal, which she just didn’t get.
The lunch lady (they would always be lunch ladies, even at breakfast, even as an adult) handed her a bowl and asked if she wanted berries. Sam said yes.
But not General O’Neill. John reminded her of Jack a few years back. Before the promotion, before things got awkward with the team. Intellectually, she knew now why the team dynamics of SG-1 had changed the way they did, but there was no guarantee that things would fall out the same way in Atlantis. This breakfast would be full of experiments and thoughts to test out, it would seem.
“Hey guys,” Sam said, approaching the table as Rodney gestured with his spoon, “Mind if I..”
“Sure, Sam,” John cut her off, “Pull up an uncomfortable chair.” McKay looked sharply from Sam to John as his jaw dropped open and she slid in smoothly next to John.
“What the hell?” Rodney’s spoon slipped, forgotten, onto the table.
“What?” John teased.
“When did you two get all cozy?”
“Last night, about 11, would you say?” Sam grinned as she began eating.
“I think it was later. I was sound asleep, you know.”
“It’s hard to tell, with the hair.”
“Right.”
“I’m SORRY?” Rodney spat at Sam.
“I got lost and inconsiderately knocked on Colonel Sheppard’s door trying to get my bearings, and he walked me home.”
“Very chivalrous, did you carry her books too?” Rodney had turned on Sheppard, but the tone was a little less biting.
“Rodney,” John began.
“Chivalry nothing, rudeness goes a long way with John.” Sam paused and looked pointedly at the sputtering Rodney before he could appeal to John to deny anything. “You know, you could really work that angle, McKay.”
“What? And why am I McKay and he’s John all of a sudden?” Sam sighed inwardly as McKay turned pained eyes in John’s direction.
“Rodney, seriously, there’s no reason to get all panicky.”
“Because you are, and he is, and you guys would be perfect for each other.” Sam shrugged, noticing the gleam in Teyla’s eyes across from her at the table. “Am I right? John and McKay?”
“I am thoroughly in agreement, Colonel Carter.”
“Tell me I can get you to call me Sam.”
“Of course, Sam.” Teyla said deliberately, and with a small smile.
“Oh, thank goodness.” Sam grinned. Nine years, almost ten and she’d never gotten Teal’c to use her name. Teyla was warmer. Still spoke in that sort of formal way, but she had an openness to her.
“Can we get back to the topic at hand?” Rodney interjected irritably.
“I’d really be okay if we didn’t.” John interjected, clearly a little alarmed by the turn in the conversation.
“Does the subject of relationships between fellows disturb you, John?” Teyla asked, picking up the ball rather nicely, Sam thought, though she did tend to pronounce everyone’s first name a bit too carefully.
John and Rodney sputtered a bit, so Sam said easily to Teyla, “Well, in the military regulations in our country back on Earth, relationships between coworkers, fellow soldiers are forbidden.”
“Let alone between fellows, Colonel.” John said, using her rank.
“The British do just fine with it.” She grinned at him. “Ask Carson about it sometime.” She caught herself gesturing with her spoon, like Daniel did, and managed to turn her attention to her oatmeal.
“Ask… What? No!” John sputtered and shivered, “You’re evil. I so didn’t need that mental image.” Sam continued to grin at him even as she noticed Rodney’s eyes go wide.
“We do not have such restrictions,” Teyla offered. “Why would your military wish to prohibit comradeship if it eased the pain and burden of war?”
“They don’t believe it does, think it is a distraction, I suppose.” Sam felt the sour berries pop in her mouth.
“More chain of command, really.” John was rallying, so that was good. Puppy dog eyes were not a good way to look sexy, really.
“Not for homosexual relationships, and not for women, not really.”
“How the hell did this become breakfast table conversation?” Rodney said with awe.
“Please explain, Sam.” Teyla requested.
“Yeah, for women?” John was interested too, though he might have been latching onto a way to divert the conversation.
“Well, homosexual relationships are not approved of at all by the US military, though that may be changing, if slowly.” John rolled his eyes as she spoke, “But for women it’s a mistake to get involved with anyone, no matter if it’s a man or a woman.”
“This isn’t going to be some feminist double standard tirade, is it?” McKay said with narrowed eyes.
“No, just a statement of fact.” Sam said with a smile in Rodney’s direction, “It’s hard for women in a field based on strength. People will assume you got there by the most efficient way possible, and if you give any hint that you slept your way ahead people will run with it.”
“You really believe that?” John asked.
“I followed all the rules and you broke them and yet here we are, the same rank.”
“Good point,” he said, “Sorry.”
“Don’t need to apologize, we’re all on the same side.”
“So you have never had the comfort of a relationship with a fellow warrior, who could understand what you had experienced?” Teyla asked with wonder.
“I didn’t say never, but I’ve learned my lesson. Haven’t dated another soldier in almost 15 years.” Teyla sat back, a curious look on her face.
“But…” Rodney sputtered, “There were all those rumors about you and O’Neill!”
“Way to prove her point, Rodney.” John said out of the corner of his mouth.
“It’s not a double standard, the same rumors go on about you and Elizabeth.” Rodney retorted.
“What?” John asked with alarm.
“You mean those aren’t true? Well, that’s a relief.”
“No! Will you quit trying to hook me up with everyone in the city? I haven’t done half the stuff you’ve accused me of.”
“Wait, which half have you done then?”
Sam could barely hold back her smile as she lay her spoon down. “I wouldn’t throw stones, McKay. I may start a few rumors myself just to get back at you for ruining my reputation and saying we’d dated. Do you mind, John? I mean, you’ve been hooked up with everyone else through the rumor mill.”
“Hey, what’s one more?”
“But…” McKay was kind of cute when he sputtered, Sam thought, as all of them grinned at Rodney, “I’m not gay,” he finished lamely.
John hid the flinch well, Sam thought. “Listen, McKay, you owe me. Couldn’t be just a little bit gay for me?”
McKay did a double take. “Did you just invite me into a threesome?”
Sam snorted and picked up her tray as Teyla did the same. They wished the boys a good breakfast; though Rodney was busy asking John if he’d heard what Sam had just said, and probably didn’t even hear them.
“I have long wondered if I should speak with Colonel Sheppard and Dr. McKay about why they had not begun a relationship they were both so clearly suited for, but I think it would not have gone as well as the one you conducted just now.” Teyla said thoughtfully as they walked down a corridor together.
“Spotted that, did you?” Sam asked, smiling. “Sometimes it helps to hear it from someone who follows the same rules, grew up in the same culture.”
“You did it very well.” Teyla commented. “And I learned information that explains a great deal about this culture.”
“Really? Like what?” Sam asked curiously.
“Colonel Carter,” Teyla changed topics. “I have noticed that you are spending a majority of your time working in the science labs, but am reminded that you are in fact a soldier. If you would like to exercise during breaks from your science work, I would offer to spar with you. I am curious to see how you fight.”
Sam glanced at the other woman’s face, trying to make out the expression there, but came up empty and only able to answer the question she was asked. “I’d love to, but we likely have very different styles, and will have to adapt somewhat.”
“I am capable of this.” Teyla remarked.
“Then I look forward to it, but I still expect you to call me Sam, even when we aren’t teasing Sheppard and McKay.” She stopped at an intersection of a hallway. Teyla smiled enigmatically and bowed her head slightly as she turned away and walked to the left. Sam watched her for a moment before looking up and trying to figure out which direction would take her to the science labs.
~~~
Well, this was a most unusual situation.
John had asked her over, specified that Rodney wouldn’t be there, he just would like her company, if, you know, she ever got lost heading back from the science labs again.
Sam figured he might want to take her to task for so blatantly trying to get Rodney to consider him romantically, but there was also the off chance that he just wanted to talk to someone about it.
She said she’d bring chocolate, figuring it would work as a peace offering just in case it was the former. Unfortunately, McKay overheard that part.
Or maybe it was a fortunate thing, who knows? It was certainly new territory for her.
I think some of us are confused about who is coming between whom, here.
What? You’re the one trying to get her chocolate!
Do you want me to come back another time?
Sam, if you leave now this is likely to turn homicidal.
Right.
Still, she wasn’t entirely sure where she got off telling McKay that scientists were supposed to be observant and kissing him back on his heels before turning him, wide eyed, to face a very near John on the other side of him. McKay all but leaned his entire weight back on her, as if John were likely to hit him at any moment. Sam wrapped her arms warmly about Rodney and rested her chin on his shoulder. John’s eyes on hers were tentative, but the kiss he gave her was sweet, if a little shaky.
Rodney had one hand fisted in the pant leg of her uniform as he tracked John’s movement away from Sam and leaned in to kiss him chastely and impulsively before he got too far away. As they moved their faces apart looking a little stunned, she ran her hands up their arms encouragingly, and their lips met one more time, but it was quick. Rodney rocked precariously in place and looked back over his shoulder pleadingly as he twisted his hand deeper into the fabric of her uniform.
Even if I were slightly interested, in a purely speculative, manly way, he’s straight! He’s straighter than a very straight thing!
McKay, there is only one way to test a theory like that.
Right, because he’s just inching to get over here and get into my pants, I can tell.
Maybe if you quit talking, Rodney.
What? I’m sorry if I have a tendency to want an explanation when a former coworker who I thought was totally my type shows up one day and tells me that I was all wrong about that and in fact should be attracted to a current, very not blonde male coworker…
McKay, seriously, it’s time to shut up.
I LIKE blondes! He’s not even blonde. And he’s straight!
Right, John, I’m going to need one more shot of whatever that Athosian drink is.
You and me both, Sam.
Sam ducked under John’s arm to form a triangle with the two men. Rodney, with an impossibly stricken look on his face, watched her unzip his jacket and slide it off his shoulders. John had asked her very softly if she could stay with them, if she would please stay, and she agreed, smoothing one hand over his face.
John, exhaling, removed Rodney’s fist from Sam’s pant leg and began unfastening her belt. She had kissed him reassuringly, and then kissed Rodney, who had shifted his hand to her shoulder, where he clung as if to a lifeline.
Is this because of me or you?
You, both of you. And me too.
Sam? These are high stakes.
I know. This is a trial, a test. If things are awkward later, you blame me, okay? If I’m wrong, just… wait until I’m gone and then blame me for everything, okay?
I won’t blame you.
I will. I definitely will.
Okay then.
Sam, in her shirt and with bare legs, began slowly helping John out of his jacket. When Rodney caught up and started working him out of his shirt Sam redirected her attention to his belt and together they helped John shed his clothes.
What does… how does it feel?
You’ll see. It’s good.
Both men had dexterous fingers, though McKay’s were stuttering a bit with nervousness and she kept a hand on his arm reassuringly. John was running his hand down the small of her back and over her ass, bottle of lube ready in the other hand. Sam tried to remember the last time someone had done this for her, the last time she had asked, tried to remember that the universe was not revolving around John’s finger drawing circles on her skin. After all, she had McKay in front of her as well, though he was increasingly preoccupied with watching the movements of John’s arm over her shoulder as he prepared his fingers.
Sam, do we continue with this?
Oh yeah, and McKay don’t you stop either.
Yeah, okay. Right.
Bed, then.
On the bed, Sam knelt before John as he came into her, slowly, from behind. John braced her hips as she leaned forward onto Rodney’s shoulder and pushed against him for leverage. Rodney tentatively brought his hands up to hold her upper arms, all of them still as John began running his hands up and down her back in long strokes.
Sam shifted in Rodney’s embrace to breathe into his neck. John began to move, Sam felt Rodney’s head turn to watch him behind her.
GOD.
Are you okay?
God. Good, that was good.
There?
Jesus. Yeah. McKay?
Yeah?
Give me your hand…
She came hard, Rodney’s hands within and without, John moving deeply and skillfully inside her. She almost collapsed with the heat of it, the distraction, but John was strong and held her up as Rodney watched her face in fascination.
She let them handle her onto the bed, blissfully oblivious. There must have been a removal of condom, they had to have collaborated getting her comfortable, but Sam blinked back into the two men focusing a little too much on her. She ran hands over their hips, waists, whatever she could reach to distract them. The angle was weird, with them kneeling over her.
Okay?
Yeah, definitely. Did you? God, John. Come here.
I held back… God. Keep doing that.
No, stop doing that, you’re tired. I can do that. I think.
It’s not… God, Rodney. It’s not hard. Do whatever would feel good to you.
Actually, it’s getting hard.
McKay, please shut up.
It was an incredible view, the two men over her, a hand each braced on each other’s shoulders and gripping hard, and another tentatively reaching across to stroke. McKay watching John’s face with wonder and John focused on Rodney’s cock moving through his hand.
Wait.
What wait? What’s I do wrong?
Nothing, Rodney, nothing. I just… can you stop a second? Maybe lay back?
Why lay back, what?
It’ll be good McKay, put your head here and turn over? Lay on you back.
Yeah, that… you can tell me to stop, Rodney. Anytime, just say so.
Rodney lay back on Sam’s stomach, apparently stunned into silence. She liked the effect and affectionately ran a hand over his chest and nipples, he shuddered and looked at her as John moved around the bed. Sam let him grab her hand hard and smiled at him, looking down McKay’s body just in time to see John run hands up Rodney’s legs and to his groin, letting his mouth follow.
Rodney nearly twisted Sam’s hand off as John gave the first wide-tongued lick along his cock. Rodney had been entranced, eyes fixated on John’s crazy unbelievable hair, but now as John’s fingers dug into his hip and his head bobbed slowly and shallowly at his groin, Rodney looked away, aside, up… Sam thought he was fascinating like this, overwhelmed and out of control and the center of attention, but most importantly, speechless. Rodney, head thrown back into Sam’s stomach and gasping, inched his free hand towards John’s, and though John kept his upper arm firmly over Rodney’s hip, he allowed his hand to be captured and the fingers laced with Rodney’s. Watching, Sam wasn’t even sure they were aware of doing it, but then Rodney looked back down at John, gaze steady.
Sam. God!
Yeah. You good?
YEAH. Yeah. But if I wanted…
What? Fingers or all of it?
I don’t know.
If you think you might like it, it’s worth it. You can start slowly.
Rodney made the most amazing sounds, so much more expressive than the usual arrogant to sarcastic scale she was used to. She saw Sheppard’s fingers flex and strain holding Rodney’s hand, watched them work their fingers together. McKay suddenly closed his eyes and groaned deeply in response to something John had done, opening them to look directly into Sam’s eyes. She reached up behind her head for the lube on the small table where it had been placed.
McKay, here. If you want more.
God yes, God! More.
Hand him this.
Rodney eased onto his hands and knees over her, eyes still a little panicked. John’s eyes were riveted to Rodney’s body, though he was trying to drag them away, applying pressure to the base of his cock, trying to regain some distance from his own orgasm, hold onto the presence of mind needed to get a condom on. To give him time, Sam ran her hands over Rodney’s face, shoulders, chest, rib cage, in a weird sort of post-orgasmic cuddle. She arched up to kiss him as she gently ran her palms over his nipples.
Okay?
Very okay, just warn me what’s coming, right?
It’s John now. Relax, as much as you can. Focus.
John looked to be pushing excruciatingly slowly into Rodney, but as Sam mimicked John’s soothing strokes along Rodney’s torso she whispered at him to relax, and after what seemed like a very long time, the faces of both men calmed into something much less strained and they started moving.
Holy shit. John.
Y’okay?
Yeah. John.
Rodney was lagging behind John in the race to the finish, though they were both close; the strain on John’s features as he fought for control was evident, but Rodney still wore the breathless and surprised look he’d had since John first started moving. Running her hands along his skin to give him plenty of warning, Sam reached for Rodney’s cock and shifted to get an agreeable angle. He was mostly hard, having recovered from the shock of penetration to begin enjoying himself, but he seemed to remember himself under her hands and hardened as he met her eyes. She didn’t see recognition in them.
As she pulled and John rocked, Rodney’s face wore lust and heat and transitioned into something harsher, pained. He dropped to his elbows, burying his face in Sam’s abdomen and breathing harshly. She felt teeth in her skin. As his moans reverberated through her ribcage, Sam whispered permission to come, told him to come for John as her hands got rougher, stronger. Rodney chokingly stuttered John’s name and was echoed back with his own in a low pleading moan. Rodney fisted the sheet and pulled Sam’s hip as his body seized. She followed his motion backwards towards John with her hand, even as John dug his fingers into Rodney’s shoulders and slammed his hips into the other man’s thighs, almost jarring them off balance and holding the position for a beat before pulling back and thrusting again with a pleading moan. He swore unintelligibly into the small of Rodney’s back as he surged and quieted.
Rodney recovered enough to turn his face over his shoulder and see John roll off him, still groaning. As John gained control of his breath and voice, Rodney leaned down and kissed him. Not the shy closed-mouth kiss from earlier, but a fully committed kiss, with lips and mouth and tongue and body behind it. And John, floppy from his exertions, found the strength to raise an arm to wrap around Rodney’s head to receive the kiss, and hold him near when they stopped to puff gentle breaths into each other’s faces.
Sam watched them. Kissing, breathing each other’s air, holding each other close, searching looks on their faces.
When Rodney ran out of strength and fell back to the bed, and Sam’s belly and waist, he looked at her, finally. She smiled at him and carded his hair.
Worth it.
Good.
They fell asleep braided together, Rodney’s head on Sam’s stomach, and John spent on Rodney’s outstretched arm, legs hanging off the foot of the small bed.
Sam was staring at the ceiling, and cold.
Carefully, so as not to wake Rodney, she substituted a pillow for her stomach and settled his head there; but he barely stumbled in his snoring, so it’s possible that she needn’t have bothered.
Because of course Rodney snored.
It wasn’t so hard to smile.
She pulled the sheet up from the ground and wound it around them a bit, claiming the blanket for herself, and walked to the window to watch the ocean.
Atlantis really was a beautiful city.
“Are you okay?” John asked quietly, sleepily, from his seat on the end of the bed.
“I’m good. Don’t wake him.” He joined her at the window, grabbing shorts on the way.
“Are we okay?” John asked her, concern in his voice. “I really didn’t mean for this…”
“We’re fine. Are you cold?” She offered a wrap of her blanket to him. He refused and instead wrapped his arms around her and rested his chin on her shoulder. It was a good fit. “I needed to know.”
“About me?” He lifted his chin to try to get a look at her face. “About Rodney?”
“No, just my own thing.”
“’Kay, that makes no sense to me.”
They stood for a minute at the window, gazing at the black water reflecting moonlight and starlight until John cleared his throat a bit and said, “Like I was trying to say earlier, this wasn’t me, or us, using you. This… I owe you so much. I would have tried not to ever say anything, and you made it unnecessary.”
“Better than being in the middle of things, or letting it drag out for years.” Sam turned a bit in his arms. “You guys going to be okay?”
“God, I hope so.”
“It was good for me, John. I have no regrets.”
“But…” He prompted.
“But this is your bed, and I’m going to give you back your blanket now, and try to find my quarters. Let you sleep.”
He watched her face carefully for a moment, and then bent down and fitted his mouth to hers. Sam felt in that kiss the skill she’d felt in bed, the pressure and angle and give and take all perfect. She felt the promise she’d seen in the kiss with Rodney, but knew, that at the end, there was no arm to hold her near him, no passion so fierce behind the emotion that he couldn’t bear the idea of her leaving. She pressed back into the kiss with every reassurance, all the warmth she could muster standing there in her bare feet, and stepped back, blinking the sting from her eyes.
John helped her dress, finding her clothes and holding the blanket while she straightened herself enough to maneuver public corridors. Finally, she took the blanket back from him and ushered him back into his small, occupied bed. Fitting himself around Rodney, John adjusted pillows, and Rodney to some degree, as Sam smoothed the sheet and pulled the blanket over them for the night. Leaving, she heard them murmuring to one another, and noticed that Rodney had shifted enough to wrap around John.
Sam turned away and left them to sleep. She found her quarters without trouble, but she dragged her fingers along the wall to get there.
~~~
For the first time since coming to Atlantis, Sam took to take a day off; wrapped herself in blankets and sat out on her balcony, salt wind in her face.
The knock on the door was something of a shock in the silence, but Teyla’s serene presence on the other side of the door had a balancing effect. Sam smiled at her.
“Colonel Carter.” There was the half nod of the head that so reminded her of Teal’c sometimes.
“Hi. How are you?’’ Sam was doing some mental calculations and aside from escorts no one had ever dropped by her quarters.
Of course, that was likely due at least in part to the fact that she was more likely to be found in the lab than lazing about her room, but anyway.
“I am well. Colonel Sheppard was in fact, concerned that it was you who was unwell and asked me to come and speak with you.” There was a muffled choking sound to Sam’s left outside the door and her eyeline, but Teyla’s light smirk at the sound identified her companion.
“John, did you just send Teyla to do your dirty work?” Sam asked over Teyla’s shoulder.
“No,” came the disembodied reply, followed by a shifty looking Sheppard peeking around the doorframe, “She was on her way anyway.” Teyla’s look of half rolled eyes and half disbelief confirmed for Sam the patent nonsense of that statement.
“I merely stated that I intended to ask Colonel Carter if she wished to join me in the sparring room. I did not indicate the matter was urgent.”
“Could have come yourself, John.”
“Didn’t know if you wanted to see me.”
“That explains why you did not reveal yourself then?” Teyla asked with an eyebrow half arched.
“Well,” John dropped to a mumble, looking alternately between the two women and at his feet, “Rodney said you hadn’t left your room and hadn’t gone to the labs so I thought, maybe you’d like some company to come to you.”
“But not your company.”
“Wasn’t sure.”
“Is not using internal sensors to track individual movements contrary to…”
“Eh, hey hey now, who’s side are you on, Teyla?’
“I dunno John. That’s pretty bad. I wouldn’t have objected to your company before but now I don’t know if I can be seen with you today, what with you stalking me.”
“Indeed, I believe we must banish him from our presence.”
Sam made a sympathetic face. “Mission accomplished, Colonel, but unfortunately, you are banished.” John gave Sam a good look to make sure her mirth at teasing him was genuine and then proceeded to pout his way back down the hallway, theatrically.
“You’ll miss me.”
“No we will not.”
“Teyla,” Sam began, “Would you like to come in? I’d offer tea but I don’t have a way to make any.”
“If you would like some tea, I can offer you an Athosian version in my quarters.” Teyla offered interestedly.
“What’s in it?” Sam asked, knowing she probably wouldn’t know the right vocabulary to understand what Teyla would tell her.
They talked of meaningless things in Teyla’s cozy space, Sam sitting on the bed with her fingers buried in soft blankets and Teyla in one of the room’s two chairs nearby, until she finally looked pointedly at Sam commented that Colonel Sheppard and Dr. McKay were very happy lately.
Sam smiled at her directness. “Did you ask them why?”
“I received an insufficient explanation.”
“Really?”
“Yes, but my actual inquiry may have been poorly phrased. I inquired as to why they seemed so happy and yet were so concerned that you were not.”
“It’s magnanimous of them, wouldn’t you agree?”
“I assume you were involved in convincing them to consider each other as potential lovers.”
“Yup, I actually got more involved than I expected to.” Teyla raised her eyebrows at that, but otherwise looked fairly non-plussed. It was nice to speak freely about delicate subjects. She didn’t remember being able to do it in recent memory.
“Did they then treat you inappropriately?”
“No, no. They were dolls. Both of them. But it wasn’t about me, and they knew and I knew and we were still all there together.” Sam had drifted her focus to the wall and was a bit surprised when Teyla spoke.
“So they feared that they had offended you by ignoring you.”
“Well, it was an unusual thing to do, and none of us really knew how to react. It’s touching that they care enough to…” Sam clamped her mouth shut against the catch in her throat escaping.
When she glanced at Teyla, the other woman was simply looking at her, waiting for her to continue. At the look, Teyla favored her with a half smile, a rueful smile.
“I knew two men like them on Earth, back home. Didn’t see it for what it was, got caught up in the games between them, but I thought it was all about me at that time. I made things worse. Granted, they started it, but the reality is that I could have loved either of them, if they’d needed me to, or even wanted me to. But it was the wrong read. Not girlfriend, not wife. That’s not what it was, for any of us. I just don’t know why I kept trying to force it.”
There was a fuzzy silence between them, while Sam’s senses filled with the aromatic tea and the soft pelts on Teyla’s bed. Teyla broke the silence with measured tones. “I have observed that many of you, from Earth, are attached to very rigid expectations of a partner or a lover.”
“In what way?” Sam asked, relaxing back onto her elbows.
“You expect quite a grand romantic love, when not every life has room for such passion and compromise with another life. Must your ideal of happiness be so restricting?”
“I’m not sure I understand.”
“Athosians live with the knowledge that life may be cut short at any time. We do not hold with ideas that require us to search for particular kinds of love when others may be right in front of our eyes. It is difficult enough to find a partner of similar mind and desires, is it not?” Sam nodded and watched Teyla closely as she followed her words.
“It seems unreasonable,” she continued, “To further require that a lover must also be restricted to males, to those able to provide, to a life with children and a safe place to live or to those who come from the same place we do.”
“You’re saying,” Sam leaned forward, making the connection, understanding, “That uncommon people must not expect common lives.”
“That is most apt, yes.”
“I think you might be right about that.” Sam spoke very low, with a sense of wonder that Teyla was there, listening, making great insights into her life.
“You have never considered the company of another like yourself in love.” Teyla stated.
“Well, not… only men, never a woman.” Sam was suddenly hyperaware of how her hip pressed into mattress, the feel of the fur through the fabric at her elbow, the heat of Teyla’s knee near hers. What the hell? Sam thought. “I’m beginning to wonder if I was wrong to not consider that. I think I may have been wrong about a number of things.”
Teyla’s wry half smile grew to a grin as she leaned forward and focused her attention on Sam’s face from a very short distance away. Sam found herself looking back and forth between her mouth and eyes for some clue as to what she would do, not realizing that her lips had parted slightly to allow for hot breath to escape. Teyla’s fingers brushed the hair at her temple, feeling the consistency. Glance flickering away from her eyes for a moment, Teyla deliberately tilted her head slightly and pressed her lips warmly to Sam’s forehead.
Sam started when Teyla pulled away, her skin tingling where Teyla’s thumb ran over the place her mouth had been. She was raising her hands to find Teyla’s shoulders, ready to follow her as she pulled away, but Teyla’s breath was still on her skin. She had moved her face to the side of Sam’s to whisper “I can make it about you.”
Sam turned her head minutely, just feeling her cheekbone brush Teyla’s jawline, her fingers rising to run thoughtfully over Teyla’s collarbone at the edge of her vest in Sam’s peripheral vision. She ran a fingertip under the edge of the vest and felt Teyla pause, marveled at her ability to hold so still. The heat from Teyla’s body so close was almost palpable and Sam could smell the leather of her vest, the soap in her hair, the spices she’d added to the tea. Sam was suddenly overcome with the desire to feel Teyla’s bodyweight, to know whether it would ground her, trap her, inspire her, to be underneath it, wrapped around her.
Leaning forward the barest of inches, Sam trailed her lips gently down Teyla’s neck. She could feel Teyla’s pulse beating under the kiss, felt her own beating in her ears.
Felt Teyla’s hand run across her shoulderblades and up her neck, to rest lightly on the back of her head, to hold her near.
Smiling, Sam pulled slowly back as she considered whether the basic tenets of her thinking were completely wrong or merely outdated, then gave up thinking as Teyla’s mouth met hers and there was strength there, and longing, and need.
Anything was possible in Atlantis.
end.
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Date: 2006-01-08 11:42 pm (UTC)Oh, and did I mention teh hawt Rodney & John & SamInTheMiddle? Mmmmm.
Still - Teyla. Yum.
Thank you :)=
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Date: 2006-01-09 01:04 am (UTC)Ah, the women on screen. They are not always what I would wish for, are they? I can't say how glad I am that the femslash worked, because it's not my thing either, and for many, lo many, drafts it was mediocre at best until I slapped myself around a bit and said 'self!' I said, 'If you don't think this is sexy, 'tain't nooooobody else is going to think it's sexy either.' I am so pleased that you particularly liked it.
You are welcome welcome welcome. Hope this makes up for the lack of p0rn in the teamfic? *g*