worst habits & best physical feature

[minxy]

I'm playing fast and loose with the 30 in 30 thing.


10. What's your best physical feature?

I have amazing breasts, and great curves. Seriously. My great grandmother was known (family lore, you understand) for being "perfectly corseted" and I seriously got those genes. I have amazing proportions. I am also healthy right now, which is awesome, and my normal weight for healthy (which includes lifting heavy things and being able to run a bit), which is 175 lbs. So I'm quite pleased with my figure.

9. What are your worst habits?

Well, I'll give you the one I'm the most introspective about right now, as once again my reappointment cycle has come round. I am a woman in chemistry, yes? I am competent in my field and in a tenure-line, which means ridiculous expectations, but I put my head down and I am on target in my goals.

I have confidence, is what I'm saying. And it is a very very subtle thing to redefine that as over-confidence. I worry that one of my worst habits is arrogance and over confidence.

Last year reappointment did not go well, but I responded as our process tells me to do. While they recommended to reappoint with reservations (due to lack of relationships with VIPs,) I won reappointment full stop (because interpersonal relationships are not supposed to be required in considering my work.) This year, we are having three meetings so far, because the first two have been spent taking me to task for my tone and aggressive attitude last year. It's not logical--they are supposed to be focused on this year and scholarship and teaching and service, but bleargh. Really, the two on my committee making a fuss are senior faculty and bullies, they will just shift the playing field as it suits them. Apparently as of today they flipped a switch and possibly are over it (because they are children) but it still lingers with me that maybe I sometimes presenting as over-confident. People don't tolerate that easily in women.

Comments

[sid]

Many people with amazing breasts present as over-confident. LOL.

Good luck with the bullies!

[feldman]

It's funny because it's true. The stacked really have two choices, to slouch or to own them, and the latter comes off as a bold move in some people's perception. If you're also strong and move with confidence, that can be two strikes in the 'arrogant' column, as there is still a lot of discomfort with women occupying space unashamedly.

[sid]

*nods* I knew a sloucher, once. Stacked in the 6th grade! Something no eleven-year-old girl can be expected to cope with. I hope she grew into her body at some point, poor thing.

[minxy]

This conversation thread is shockingly reassuring. I mean, if there's nothing you can do, there's nothing that can be done!

[abyssinia]

but it still lingers with me that maybe I sometimes presenting as over-confident. People don't tolerate that easily in women.

*hugs*

I hear you so very very hard. Ironically, this bit me the hardest the one job in my life where I was 1) not in the sciences and 2) in a female-dominated environment. But I still see similar tendencies around my life and, just, augh.

I'm glad to hear it is hopefully getting better, and very sorry you've had to deal with such childish crap.

[minxy]

I think there are always people who don't act like adults in any organization. It's just, they were not acting like adults in positions of power, and I'm not sure it's over yet. We'll see.

They've done some impressive studies on bullying and women in science in particular, and it's becoming very, very clear that we are hardest on each other.