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minxyThis has been bouncing around in beta land for a while as I was quite nervous about writing sex and getting too clinical, and then I was given great advice: write what you want to see and describe it the way you want to think about it. It was worth a shot! What? New writer here, I'm entitled to my insecurities.
Must thank![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
wraith816, delphia2000, luatiki (new to the bboards but she had great beta feedback!), and spacemonkey for comments and beta and time and work and you know I luvs you.
Warnings and spoilers: Through S9 Avalon, Insecure!Jack, possible overuse of italics, rated NC-17 or thereabouts for sex and conversation. J/D, of course.
Slow
Daniel moved within Jack’s arms to turn and face the bed, stretching out and down to brace his hands on its surface. Jack found his hand moved from where it had pressed Daniel to him to another place almost between them, on the small of Daniel’s back. Jack looked at it and thought that it looked like he was poised to push Daniel away, though that was the last thing he was prepared to do at that moment. As Daniel curved down towards the bed, Jack brought his other hand up beside the first. The small of Daniel’s back flexed into Jack’s hands so he ran them simultaneously up and over the strong shoulder blades before him. The movement caused Jack to curve over as well and his focused body noticed its proximity to Daniel’s.
Jack wasn't going to last long.
Jack desperately, desperately needed this night to last.
Jack and Daniel had spent the night eating Chinese and Vietnamese food out of the boxes, using cheap wooden chopsticks and drinking mismatched American beer. Jack had thought to himself, this is perfect. He didn't notice that they never turned the promised movie on, or that they drank the six pack of beer and then stopped, but continued to talk long past midnight.
Jack let Daniel’s words wash over him in a way he hadn’t for a long time. In the field it mattered what words meant, the intent behind an alien’s words as he spoke to Daniel had to be assessed. Earth-side, every word spoken had become fraught with meaning; what they were saying to each other, what others could hear, what couldn’t be spoken. Words Daniel had refused to say, actions Jack would not allow himself. But this night’s conversation rang like classical music to him, and the words spoken didn’t matter.
Jack had slumped on the couch. Daniel had achieved a near horizontal position in his upholstered chair as he looked at Jack sideways through glasses skewed from being pressed into a cushion. They had both given up trying to hold their heads up, but they continued to look at each other as they spoke. Whether or not they had any energy to spare for listening ultimately didn't matter.
Daniel's eyes had drifted shut; Jack noticed when he jerked his own open after a prolonged blink that may have lapsed into sleep. Creaky and groggy, he heavily pushed himself off the couch to find some blankets and pillows. They could sleep where they were but they'd need chiropractic help in the morning if they slept with their heads at those angles.
The movement, or possibly the groaning noises, woke Daniel, and he focused sleepily on where Jack had been only then to find and smile lopsidedly up at where Jack actually was now. Thoughtlessly, Jack ran his fingers through Daniel's hair and bent to kiss his temple.
He hadn't been so physically close to Daniel since the early days of their friendship, before he realized he had to hold back or go nuts.
Jack felt profound jealousy of his own fingers, closer to Daniel than he'd ever allowed himself to be. Standing with permission now to follow them, he made himself press his heels firmly into the carpet of Daniel’s bedroom floor and do this right. Slow it down, keep control, don't fuck this up. Which was an ironic thing to think, since fucking Daniel was exactly what he had been invited to do when Daniel had turned; but he needed to divert attention away from his groin, so he let himself dwell for a minute on irony and the lack of need for it in a bedroom.
"Maybe it's time for me to retire." Jack had said, the underlying question a harmonic to the words.
"Jack, they've offered me a place on the Daedelus." Daniel had answered.
The cool gel was a nice balm to the heat in his skin, but it warmed to his overheated temperature far too quickly. He touched Daniel, just touched him and the delicate skin at the head of his cock transmitted twice the sensation his brain was prepared to handle. He came to a full stop before he had even begun.
Daniel shifted his weight gently and the whisper contact between his backside and Jack became a firm pressure, and Jack was pushing in hypnotized, eyes squeezed shut against the sensory overload.
Don't fuck this up don't fuck this up, Jack repeated to himself. Daniel's body was doing nothing to quench the scorching heat of his skin; Jack was feeling himself surge before they had even fully joined. Daniel's body closed around his and he was so incapable of bearing the fulfillment of so many fantasies that he unconsciously stilled his push forward to gather his wits. It was a fruitless attempt to make it good for Daniel, and Jack knew it when he heard his name groaned, like a plea, like need.
He thought, I'm making this terrible for him, but it will be over five minutes ago if I don't keep it slow. This is the best I can do right now. I’ll apologize later.
Daniel exhaled and drew Jack into him and the movement in turn drew Daniel’s name out of Jack. It brought Jack up short, surprised and precariously balanced on the edge of control. He rocked back and his angle within Daniel changed as he pulled out minutely and slid the ridge of his cock against a charged place. Daniel's back arched and he said something and with sudden ease Jack moved in deep, finding the front of his thighs pressed close to Daniel's ass. Momentarily lost for restraint, Jack tried for deeper, deeper inside; rocking his hipbones into the soft of Daniel’s ass, curling his toes in the carpet and clenching his hands around Daniel’s hipbones like the world’s safety depended on getting as close as possible to his lover.
"I'm sorry you missed your flight, Daniel."
"That's an odd way of putting it, Jack."
White noise from the phone line diluted the bitterness but amplified the regret in Daniel’s voice.
"How's Washington?" Daniel continued after a pause.
"I can't drive in this city," Jack griped with aching. "But I'm on the lookout for the next time they'll believe I need to go back to Colorado to talk to my realtor about the house sale... again."
"It's a good thing for you to be there."
"No, it isn't."
“Come visit?”
“Thought you’d never ask.”
Jack was moving, and the strength of will not to come made each stroke excruciating and gorgeous. Jack moved with his forehead and temple pressed to Daniel’s middle back, feeling him arch and the vibrations when he groaned, feeling the muscles clench against his hands at Daniel's waist.
"Jack-" Urgency crept into Daniel’s voice and passed to Jack’s hands; they moved up Daniel's abdomen around his shoulders, where Jack used the newfound leverage to pull Daniel into him as he thrust. The strength urged them faster, and Jack moved again to rasp calloused hands over hard nipples, down smooth chest and to Daniel's groin. Quickly now, and with near painful need, Jack grasped Daniels hip and reached for his cock with the other. Daniel's heat nearly burned him, and Jack had a sudden notion that he'd never be able to use his hand to fire a gun again. The idea was appealing.
Daniel’s head turned under Jacks ill-considered kiss to the temple, and suddenly Jack was breathing Daniel's breath; their mouths a short inch apart. Jack looked at Daniel's slightly open mouth, and then he looked in Daniel's eyes.
"What are we doing?" Jack asked, because they'd been here before, and the morning reset to 'just friends' had nearly short-circuited him.
"Why are we waiting?" Daniel countered softly from the chair.
"Your idea, remember?" Jack straightened out of Daniel's space, but only halfway. "There's something we each still need to do? The fight isn't over?"
"Right" Daniel drew out the word. "I might have been wrong about not being able to do this at the same time."
"I live in D.C. now, Daniel." You told me to go! Jack's heart accused.
"You can keep finding reasons to visit... The national archeology conference is in Washington this year..." Daniel stood and faced Jack as Jack still faced the chair Daniel had been in.
"Why now, Daniel?" Jack was trying like hell to keep up with Daniel's logic, but he was beginning to feel the familiar trust that it didn't need questioning.
"Because I can't remember why not anymore, Jack."
Except it would be Jack leaving in the morning, physically, if not metaphorically. Jack didn't like to leave people behind, least of all Daniel.
Daniel beat Jack to release by fractions of a second. The feel of him, knowing he was coming was more than even Jack's will could resist and he came with a look of wrenching pain on his face that he buried in Daniel's spine. He didn't realize that he groaned Daniel's name at the same time. He slowed his movements but continued to surge in his partner until his ability to push was gone.
Daniel had pulled him onto the bed, which his knees were distinctly grateful for, despite still being largely draped off of it. Jack lay sideways across Daniel's legs and noted with military pride as he contemplated the ceiling that he had Daniel pretty effectively pinned; though for all intents and purposes Daniel had created the situation so Jack really shouldn't be taking any credit. Jack stretched his arms to each side and felt a cool evening breeze walk over his heated skin. Reset to normal working temperature, he thought to himself. Reset.
"I'm sorry, Daniel."
"For what, Jack?" Daniel's words had the accent of a smile in them.
Well, Jack thought, at least he got off, I'm pretty sure. That’s good, at least.
"Could have been better, meant it to be."
"Jesus," Daniel said, and Jack thought to himself when did Daniel find religion? "If that's your B game Jack, I'm never topping, I can't compete." Daniel's fingers found Jacks outstretched right hand and held it. Because of the angle, it was more like shaking hands than lacing fingers, but Jack was grateful for the contact. He looked up to Daniel's happy sated grin and counted the promises in Daniels words. He looked at the clock, and thought with some surprise, that long, eh? In the morning he would make some smug comment about it, maybe, when he was rested, and had wrapped his head around the idea that he wasn't going to have to wait another four years to touch Daniel again, if he’d read that look right.
Awkwardly, and with sappy, sated fatigue, Jack moved from his strange flop across Daniel’s legs to lay beside him, determined to not think about the flight he had to catch the next day. They were sweaty and Daniel's bedclothes were going to be spending several quality hours in the washer, and Jack wanted for a moment to believe that he could offer to help. That he wouldn't have to leave.
"Daniel." He was serious this time; he reached for Daniel’s hand, and Danny tugged until Jack was comfortably wrapped around him. He could sleep like this and not need a chiropractor in the morning. "Daniel, maybe it's time for me to retire."
End.
Must thank
wraith816, delphia2000, luatiki (new to the bboards but she had great beta feedback!), and spacemonkey for comments and beta and time and work and you know I luvs you.Warnings and spoilers: Through S9 Avalon, Insecure!Jack, possible overuse of italics, rated NC-17 or thereabouts for sex and conversation. J/D, of course.
Slow
Daniel moved within Jack’s arms to turn and face the bed, stretching out and down to brace his hands on its surface. Jack found his hand moved from where it had pressed Daniel to him to another place almost between them, on the small of Daniel’s back. Jack looked at it and thought that it looked like he was poised to push Daniel away, though that was the last thing he was prepared to do at that moment. As Daniel curved down towards the bed, Jack brought his other hand up beside the first. The small of Daniel’s back flexed into Jack’s hands so he ran them simultaneously up and over the strong shoulder blades before him. The movement caused Jack to curve over as well and his focused body noticed its proximity to Daniel’s.
Jack wasn't going to last long.
Jack desperately, desperately needed this night to last.
Jack and Daniel had spent the night eating Chinese and Vietnamese food out of the boxes, using cheap wooden chopsticks and drinking mismatched American beer. Jack had thought to himself, this is perfect. He didn't notice that they never turned the promised movie on, or that they drank the six pack of beer and then stopped, but continued to talk long past midnight.
Jack let Daniel’s words wash over him in a way he hadn’t for a long time. In the field it mattered what words meant, the intent behind an alien’s words as he spoke to Daniel had to be assessed. Earth-side, every word spoken had become fraught with meaning; what they were saying to each other, what others could hear, what couldn’t be spoken. Words Daniel had refused to say, actions Jack would not allow himself. But this night’s conversation rang like classical music to him, and the words spoken didn’t matter.
Jack had slumped on the couch. Daniel had achieved a near horizontal position in his upholstered chair as he looked at Jack sideways through glasses skewed from being pressed into a cushion. They had both given up trying to hold their heads up, but they continued to look at each other as they spoke. Whether or not they had any energy to spare for listening ultimately didn't matter.
Daniel's eyes had drifted shut; Jack noticed when he jerked his own open after a prolonged blink that may have lapsed into sleep. Creaky and groggy, he heavily pushed himself off the couch to find some blankets and pillows. They could sleep where they were but they'd need chiropractic help in the morning if they slept with their heads at those angles.
The movement, or possibly the groaning noises, woke Daniel, and he focused sleepily on where Jack had been only then to find and smile lopsidedly up at where Jack actually was now. Thoughtlessly, Jack ran his fingers through Daniel's hair and bent to kiss his temple.
He hadn't been so physically close to Daniel since the early days of their friendship, before he realized he had to hold back or go nuts.
Jack felt profound jealousy of his own fingers, closer to Daniel than he'd ever allowed himself to be. Standing with permission now to follow them, he made himself press his heels firmly into the carpet of Daniel’s bedroom floor and do this right. Slow it down, keep control, don't fuck this up. Which was an ironic thing to think, since fucking Daniel was exactly what he had been invited to do when Daniel had turned; but he needed to divert attention away from his groin, so he let himself dwell for a minute on irony and the lack of need for it in a bedroom.
"Maybe it's time for me to retire." Jack had said, the underlying question a harmonic to the words.
"Jack, they've offered me a place on the Daedelus." Daniel had answered.
The cool gel was a nice balm to the heat in his skin, but it warmed to his overheated temperature far too quickly. He touched Daniel, just touched him and the delicate skin at the head of his cock transmitted twice the sensation his brain was prepared to handle. He came to a full stop before he had even begun.
Daniel shifted his weight gently and the whisper contact between his backside and Jack became a firm pressure, and Jack was pushing in hypnotized, eyes squeezed shut against the sensory overload.
Don't fuck this up don't fuck this up, Jack repeated to himself. Daniel's body was doing nothing to quench the scorching heat of his skin; Jack was feeling himself surge before they had even fully joined. Daniel's body closed around his and he was so incapable of bearing the fulfillment of so many fantasies that he unconsciously stilled his push forward to gather his wits. It was a fruitless attempt to make it good for Daniel, and Jack knew it when he heard his name groaned, like a plea, like need.
He thought, I'm making this terrible for him, but it will be over five minutes ago if I don't keep it slow. This is the best I can do right now. I’ll apologize later.
Daniel exhaled and drew Jack into him and the movement in turn drew Daniel’s name out of Jack. It brought Jack up short, surprised and precariously balanced on the edge of control. He rocked back and his angle within Daniel changed as he pulled out minutely and slid the ridge of his cock against a charged place. Daniel's back arched and he said something and with sudden ease Jack moved in deep, finding the front of his thighs pressed close to Daniel's ass. Momentarily lost for restraint, Jack tried for deeper, deeper inside; rocking his hipbones into the soft of Daniel’s ass, curling his toes in the carpet and clenching his hands around Daniel’s hipbones like the world’s safety depended on getting as close as possible to his lover.
"I'm sorry you missed your flight, Daniel."
"That's an odd way of putting it, Jack."
White noise from the phone line diluted the bitterness but amplified the regret in Daniel’s voice.
"How's Washington?" Daniel continued after a pause.
"I can't drive in this city," Jack griped with aching. "But I'm on the lookout for the next time they'll believe I need to go back to Colorado to talk to my realtor about the house sale... again."
"It's a good thing for you to be there."
"No, it isn't."
“Come visit?”
“Thought you’d never ask.”
Jack was moving, and the strength of will not to come made each stroke excruciating and gorgeous. Jack moved with his forehead and temple pressed to Daniel’s middle back, feeling him arch and the vibrations when he groaned, feeling the muscles clench against his hands at Daniel's waist.
"Jack-" Urgency crept into Daniel’s voice and passed to Jack’s hands; they moved up Daniel's abdomen around his shoulders, where Jack used the newfound leverage to pull Daniel into him as he thrust. The strength urged them faster, and Jack moved again to rasp calloused hands over hard nipples, down smooth chest and to Daniel's groin. Quickly now, and with near painful need, Jack grasped Daniels hip and reached for his cock with the other. Daniel's heat nearly burned him, and Jack had a sudden notion that he'd never be able to use his hand to fire a gun again. The idea was appealing.
Daniel’s head turned under Jacks ill-considered kiss to the temple, and suddenly Jack was breathing Daniel's breath; their mouths a short inch apart. Jack looked at Daniel's slightly open mouth, and then he looked in Daniel's eyes.
"What are we doing?" Jack asked, because they'd been here before, and the morning reset to 'just friends' had nearly short-circuited him.
"Why are we waiting?" Daniel countered softly from the chair.
"Your idea, remember?" Jack straightened out of Daniel's space, but only halfway. "There's something we each still need to do? The fight isn't over?"
"Right" Daniel drew out the word. "I might have been wrong about not being able to do this at the same time."
"I live in D.C. now, Daniel." You told me to go! Jack's heart accused.
"You can keep finding reasons to visit... The national archeology conference is in Washington this year..." Daniel stood and faced Jack as Jack still faced the chair Daniel had been in.
"Why now, Daniel?" Jack was trying like hell to keep up with Daniel's logic, but he was beginning to feel the familiar trust that it didn't need questioning.
"Because I can't remember why not anymore, Jack."
Except it would be Jack leaving in the morning, physically, if not metaphorically. Jack didn't like to leave people behind, least of all Daniel.
Daniel beat Jack to release by fractions of a second. The feel of him, knowing he was coming was more than even Jack's will could resist and he came with a look of wrenching pain on his face that he buried in Daniel's spine. He didn't realize that he groaned Daniel's name at the same time. He slowed his movements but continued to surge in his partner until his ability to push was gone.
Daniel had pulled him onto the bed, which his knees were distinctly grateful for, despite still being largely draped off of it. Jack lay sideways across Daniel's legs and noted with military pride as he contemplated the ceiling that he had Daniel pretty effectively pinned; though for all intents and purposes Daniel had created the situation so Jack really shouldn't be taking any credit. Jack stretched his arms to each side and felt a cool evening breeze walk over his heated skin. Reset to normal working temperature, he thought to himself. Reset.
"I'm sorry, Daniel."
"For what, Jack?" Daniel's words had the accent of a smile in them.
Well, Jack thought, at least he got off, I'm pretty sure. That’s good, at least.
"Could have been better, meant it to be."
"Jesus," Daniel said, and Jack thought to himself when did Daniel find religion? "If that's your B game Jack, I'm never topping, I can't compete." Daniel's fingers found Jacks outstretched right hand and held it. Because of the angle, it was more like shaking hands than lacing fingers, but Jack was grateful for the contact. He looked up to Daniel's happy sated grin and counted the promises in Daniels words. He looked at the clock, and thought with some surprise, that long, eh? In the morning he would make some smug comment about it, maybe, when he was rested, and had wrapped his head around the idea that he wasn't going to have to wait another four years to touch Daniel again, if he’d read that look right.
Awkwardly, and with sappy, sated fatigue, Jack moved from his strange flop across Daniel’s legs to lay beside him, determined to not think about the flight he had to catch the next day. They were sweaty and Daniel's bedclothes were going to be spending several quality hours in the washer, and Jack wanted for a moment to believe that he could offer to help. That he wouldn't have to leave.
"Daniel." He was serious this time; he reached for Daniel’s hand, and Danny tugged until Jack was comfortably wrapped around him. He could sleep like this and not need a chiropractor in the morning. "Daniel, maybe it's time for me to retire."
End.
no subject
Date: 2005-09-20 04:43 pm (UTC)Thanks, re the icon! It does seem kinda sad, doesn't it. Didn't really mean it that way -- I was playing with text brushes I downloaded, that other people made, and those just seemed to fit. What I had in mind was more that they're thinking of each other from their respective places, wanting to fly off and disappear together. I might change the text if I get a chance. *g*
no subject
Date: 2005-09-28 11:31 pm (UTC)And yes, I did just build a story around your icon *sheepish*. Gotta love something that makes you think, though.
no subject
Date: 2005-09-29 03:43 am (UTC)As to what to change the text to, I have no idea, and now I'm liking it a lot just the way it is. :-)
no subject
Date: 2005-10-06 07:33 pm (UTC)I think I shall pay some attention to the stories in my head sometime soon. And then maybe we'll see what you think?