Well, hi! Hello there.
May. 13th, 2008 09:50 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
minxySo I apparently haven't posted since the funeral, eh? I'm not really sure how to begin to update, and I feel I ought to for closure or something (I should change my default picture too, hrm). Maybe bullet points?
- Funeral: Well, that happened, it was a gorgeous taze service (repetitive simple melody songs) and great time with family. Also, notably, a friend of mine from church who is, I think, 84? She commented that I looked really sexy in my (totally modest, honestly, it was a funeral) black dress. That was a perfectly timed gift of laughter; I thanked her muchly.
- Family: my brother called me three times during the five hour delay in the San Francisco airport (if I'd been delayed any further I would have insisted they put me up for the night, hand to God.) Little Brother was worried about what to wear to the funeral, how to be respectful in clean, smart, clothes and still look like himself. I told him I was going traditional with black, but Mom was intending to go multi-colored in celebration, and therefore anything he wore would probably be fine. He felt that platitude was really insufficient, obviously, and dragged me shopping to get a black shirt from American Apparel that had no holes in it. If you were wondering, I suggested and he chose to pair it with grey slacks that he already owned, so he looked both respectful and like himself, I think. Worked well. Funny little brother, he can only process stuff like this in conversation with me, and my (only child) little cousin does the same to him.
-Coming out of it: my skin is finally all clear again, everyone sounded happy on the phone and since my Dad and I fixed the lawnmower when I was home, the parents spent Mother's Day catharticly attacking the yard (they have two acres, the grass was *long*). In the evening they had dinner with my little brother, apparently, whom they've dubbed the current favorite child. I pointed out that I was the one who put up drywall, installed two doors and FIXED THE LAWNMOWER, thanks; I won a small concession there, but little brother still came out ahead with involvement in food. Drat him anyway.
- The president has sent me money, which arrived the same day as an invitation from Coach (since I'm a valued extra-special customer. WTF? I bought a $5 keychain there once!) to come in to buy a flaming yellow bag. I shall thwart both of these bad influences and put the money towards the alarming credit card debt I still have (STOOPID INTEREST RATES) but I'm beginning to see the light at the end of the tunnel with this whole debt situation.
-despite this, I may start looking for a job next year. I'm just not sure I need academics so much I'm willing to go without a living wage for the next three years.
-On the plane ride home from the funeral, I, in my dazed and confused state (not chemically enhanced, thanks) Met a Man. I blame my grandmother shoving men at me even from the afterlife, but it was a lovely conversation, kiss or two and exchange of phone numbers. Impetuously (because he lives in San Fran) we both drove several hours to meet in wine country for dinner on Sunday. Alas, he did not live up to my memory of the serendipitously met, beautiful man with the light Caribbean accent, but for a week, it was a lovely adventure.
-Speaking of men-types, I signed up with a profile at an internet dating site some time ago, and then went oblivious about it. There are a few messages in my inbox there, though, so I may actually meet some of these guys and see what's up. Might be some good friendships to be had at the very least.
-FANNISHLY, omg. Fannishly I seem to have taken the great forward leap of becoming a moderator of a ficathon. I'm not entirely sure how this happened, but if you have any interest in another SG-1 and Atlantis remix ficathon, mosey over to![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-community.gif)
gateverse_remix and support a girl, would you? If you can play, sign up. If you can pinch hit, I'll love you forever. If you can pimp the comm, the sign-ups or the stories when they post, you know I'll appreciate it.
GATEVERSE REMIX PEOPLE. Sign-ups will be open for two weeks.
I have no idea how this happened, but it will be an adventure, I think (omg I'm going to give myself such a kick-ass assignment, because I am a morally bankrupt mod, you know it.)
(seriously, I have no sense of honor, you just wait for proof.)
-Fic wise, I think in further pimping of the Remix (No. Shame.) I'm going to post a different sort of recs list with the working theme of 'remixes that are even stronger stories taken together.' It doesn't always work this way, of course, sometimes one story is much stronger than the other, or sometimes it's not a remix so much as a tangent or a sequel, but when authors hit a simpatico place? Remixes can be so, so interesting.
Stay tuned, loyal viewers.
- Funeral: Well, that happened, it was a gorgeous taze service (repetitive simple melody songs) and great time with family. Also, notably, a friend of mine from church who is, I think, 84? She commented that I looked really sexy in my (totally modest, honestly, it was a funeral) black dress. That was a perfectly timed gift of laughter; I thanked her muchly.
- Family: my brother called me three times during the five hour delay in the San Francisco airport (if I'd been delayed any further I would have insisted they put me up for the night, hand to God.) Little Brother was worried about what to wear to the funeral, how to be respectful in clean, smart, clothes and still look like himself. I told him I was going traditional with black, but Mom was intending to go multi-colored in celebration, and therefore anything he wore would probably be fine. He felt that platitude was really insufficient, obviously, and dragged me shopping to get a black shirt from American Apparel that had no holes in it. If you were wondering, I suggested and he chose to pair it with grey slacks that he already owned, so he looked both respectful and like himself, I think. Worked well. Funny little brother, he can only process stuff like this in conversation with me, and my (only child) little cousin does the same to him.
-Coming out of it: my skin is finally all clear again, everyone sounded happy on the phone and since my Dad and I fixed the lawnmower when I was home, the parents spent Mother's Day catharticly attacking the yard (they have two acres, the grass was *long*). In the evening they had dinner with my little brother, apparently, whom they've dubbed the current favorite child. I pointed out that I was the one who put up drywall, installed two doors and FIXED THE LAWNMOWER, thanks; I won a small concession there, but little brother still came out ahead with involvement in food. Drat him anyway.
- The president has sent me money, which arrived the same day as an invitation from Coach (since I'm a valued extra-special customer. WTF? I bought a $5 keychain there once!) to come in to buy a flaming yellow bag. I shall thwart both of these bad influences and put the money towards the alarming credit card debt I still have (STOOPID INTEREST RATES) but I'm beginning to see the light at the end of the tunnel with this whole debt situation.
-despite this, I may start looking for a job next year. I'm just not sure I need academics so much I'm willing to go without a living wage for the next three years.
-On the plane ride home from the funeral, I, in my dazed and confused state (not chemically enhanced, thanks) Met a Man. I blame my grandmother shoving men at me even from the afterlife, but it was a lovely conversation, kiss or two and exchange of phone numbers. Impetuously (because he lives in San Fran) we both drove several hours to meet in wine country for dinner on Sunday. Alas, he did not live up to my memory of the serendipitously met, beautiful man with the light Caribbean accent, but for a week, it was a lovely adventure.
-Speaking of men-types, I signed up with a profile at an internet dating site some time ago, and then went oblivious about it. There are a few messages in my inbox there, though, so I may actually meet some of these guys and see what's up. Might be some good friendships to be had at the very least.
-FANNISHLY, omg. Fannishly I seem to have taken the great forward leap of becoming a moderator of a ficathon. I'm not entirely sure how this happened, but if you have any interest in another SG-1 and Atlantis remix ficathon, mosey over to
gateverse_remix and support a girl, would you? If you can play, sign up. If you can pinch hit, I'll love you forever. If you can pimp the comm, the sign-ups or the stories when they post, you know I'll appreciate it. GATEVERSE REMIX PEOPLE. Sign-ups will be open for two weeks.
I have no idea how this happened, but it will be an adventure, I think (omg I'm going to give myself such a kick-ass assignment, because I am a morally bankrupt mod, you know it.)
(seriously, I have no sense of honor, you just wait for proof.)
-Fic wise, I think in further pimping of the Remix (No. Shame.) I'm going to post a different sort of recs list with the working theme of 'remixes that are even stronger stories taken together.' It doesn't always work this way, of course, sometimes one story is much stronger than the other, or sometimes it's not a remix so much as a tangent or a sequel, but when authors hit a simpatico place? Remixes can be so, so interesting.
Stay tuned, loyal viewers.
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no subject
Date: 2008-05-19 02:11 am (UTC)It's really hard to explain, I think, how quickly one estimates the end is coming. I mean, my grandmother was in denial right up until the end there, so her doctors all said encouraging things and everyone wanted to focus on good things, but you could *hear* the fear ramping up in the phone conversations with my Mom. You could tell she was conflicted about calling in the family, but ultimately she wouldn't have done it if she didn't think it was time to say goodbye.
Easier is a difficult question, because it is still so sad. What I can say about the fade is that it felt like a natural process, and I was glad that everything that needed to be said could be said, and everything that couldn't be verbalized was still communicated, and everyone who wanted to say goodbye did so when Nana clearly recognized all of us.
I've had life-threatening, traumatic emergencies happen to my parents twice while I was overseas, and there was a distinct sense of 'wrong' and 'not enough time' about it. Everything that had to be understood had a window of a few hours in which to process it, and in that time, many of the decisions had been made and most of the consequences were in. Then again, I was so far away and it would have been so expensive to go home that if I'd needed to, I wouldn't have been able to be as present as I'd have wished, not without leaving everything I was doing abroad.
I did fly home when I was living in Denmark and Mom was diagnosed with a very fast growing cancer. The timing was all wrong, but I was there. Then I came back home a month later for summer break, and left everything in Denmark behind. When Dad had a heart attack and surgery to implant three medical stents I was in South Africa. My commitment was only for three weeks, but they went to great lengths to make sure I knew that the emergency was past and that they wanted me to stay. So I flew halfway around the world in 24 hours with no breaks to get home for my Dad's birthday at the end of the three weeks.