Heeeeeeyyyyyyyy

[minxy]

There is an extraordinary birthday being celebrated today. I don't often notice birthdays on my flist, because I work through a third party program that doesn't list such things for me, but this one caught my attention.

jenlev, you are one of the sweetest, funniest, most marvelous photographers of my acquaintance. I remain touched by your comments and presence, and still regret that we missed each other this year when I was traveling (too briefly, it seems) through your part of the world.

I looked through my WIP folder and dusted off a little Jack and Daniel ficlet for you to celebrate the day of your birth.

This needs a title so the title is now: Take Your Coffee Black
Characters: Jack and Daniel, S7,
Word count: 700
Rating: G, no warnings.
For: jenlev. Happy Birthday.

He drew a blank.

From the moment he walked through the circle and down the metal ramp, out of the green of the forest and into concrete and weapons, he expected the memories to flood him, but they didn’t. He expected to feel at home, among family, and warm, but the light was different, the angles harsh. He felt on display and he froze up, cold.

Not even a removal of the armed men, a room with fabric walls like he was accustomed to, a woman he should have known, a return of his possessions (they said), none of these was enough to mimic torchlight, firelight, the smell and sound of crackling wood, the visual cues of home and hearth and warmth.

He couldn’t even tell them what he was feeling, couldn’t register good, bad, familiar, alien. Only different, all different.

A hollowed out shell of a man stripped of his borrowed identity, he was not sure he truly existed. Ever, anywhere.

His friend-- Jim, or John, or Jack-- was guiding him through the stares and starts of recognition he could not return, was challenging him with words, pushing, wanting, but never so hard that he—that Daniel-- lost his balance. And that was surprising, because he felt much more precariously perched than his companion seemed to think he was.

There was a box. Many boxes, probably. In the shock of images, nostalgia for the memories of places he could not name but looking at their daguerreotype, knew he had been. Where the sun beat down hard and the sand blew into your clothes, where the animals yawned awful breath but the horizon brought wonders. Familiar.

He was accompanied by ghosts he couldn’t name, and lights he couldn't blow out.

The next day, he walked the halls and remembered how to read, how to translate, how to feel, how to work the water system. After he spoke to people, listened to them, offered what he could and left the meeting more confused, he remembered the box.

He was half-way through it, paper rustling lightly around him, stone and glass and paper and ink set as reverently outside it as they had been stored within, that he ran his fingers over a lacquered surface, a perfect circle. Daniel felt the rise in varnish where an image was painted over the background, felt the porous underside where it was meant to be set down. Drew his fingers through the handle and knew how he would hold the cup firmly, carefully cradling whatever what inside it.

He scrambled through the sea of paper, still without his sea legs, to get to the door and find the man’s office. He had to ask several people and finally turned around for the assistance of his ever-present airman.

He forgot to knock, forgot to close the door behind him. Daniel walked into Jack’s office with a grin on his face and Jack set down the telephone receiver.

“You liked that one.” Jack said as Daniel placed the mug on his desk.

“I’ve never seen this one before, Jack.” Daniel said with certainty as he turned the face towards the other man; wish you were here, it said.

“You sure about that?” Jack asked, eyes never leaving Daniel’s face.

“Yeah. It’s starting to come back to me.” Daniel said, smiling broadly. It was infectious, and Jack’s eye’s crinkled out of their interrogating innocent look. When he smiled and shoved his chair back, Daniel knew Jack would hug him.

Still, he was surprised by the warmth of it, how it enveloped him; he knew he was not a small man. They fit, though. He fit, in this crazy concrete planet where warmth and sand and desert existed somewhere.

Or he would, when he remembered how. In the meantime, he had renewed faith that he had existed here once, and was welcome back again.

Comments

[paian]

He was accompanied by ghosts he couldn’t name, and lights he couldn't blow out -- Lovely!

Much happiness for Jenlev Day and for you adding this to it. :-) :-)

[green-grrl.livejournal.com]

Ooo, jenlev's birthday is a good day for presents. Yum for amnesiac!Daniel hugs!

[janedavitt.livejournal.com]

Lovely look at Daniel's feelings of displacement and confusion and how they were resolved.

[starglyph.livejournal.com]

A hollowed out shell of a man stripped of his borrowed identity, he was not sure he truly existed. Ever, anywhere.


This is such a wonderful description of just how Daniel's must have felt.

[kres.livejournal.com]

Yay! So pretty. Chilling and nostalgic and warm, and with a dash of hope at the end, like a sweet cherry. Yum. Loved it.

*draws hearts and joins the crowd* Happy Birthday, jenlev!

[synecdochic]

Oooooh! I love the sense of displacement, and the slow realizations of rememberance. And oh, Jack. *hearts*

[jenlev.livejournal.com]

aw, you're so kind. and i regret missing you as well. next time we must make sure it happens. and the feeling is mutual by the way. :::big hugs:::

and wheeee!!!!! story. *smooch* thank you.

oh i love this: "none of these was enough to mimic torchlight, firelight, the smell and sound of crackling wood, the visual cues of home and hearth and warmth."

and it makes sense that he would feel more hollowed out by the welcome and everything at the mountain. and the image of lights he couldn't blow out is perfect....goes very well with the ghosts.

and this is a gorgeous paragraph: "He was half-way through it, paper rustling lightly around him, stone and glass and paper and ink set as reverently outside it as they had been stored within, that he ran his fingers over a lacquered surface, a perfect circle. Daniel felt the rise in varnish where an image was painted over the background, felt the porous underside where it was meant to be set down. Drew his fingers through the handle and knew how he would hold the cup firmly, carefully cradling whatever what inside it."

what a wonderful hug, and the dawning glee of recognition, you write that exquisitely. thank you again for this.

[jenlev.livejournal.com]

aw, thank you! *smooch*

[jenlev.livejournal.com]

thank you, and i quite agree. *bg*

;)

[jenlev.livejournal.com]

ah, thank you. *smooch* you're rather fine you know. :)

[http://users.livejournal.com/_minxy_/]

You know what's crazy is that I really don't remember writing this. I was mucking around in my computer trying to write a Talion tag for Rydra (she's dared me, and practically assigned me the 'established relationship' fic, the rascal) and I suddenly realized that I'd solved this one big roadblock on the Jack/Daniel fic I'd been playing with (complete lack of plot) and started writing.

I totally don't remember that either.

So then, hey! It's *JENLEV's* day and she's just such a gorgeous human being so let's go see what else my hard drive is hiding, yeah?

OMG what else have I done that I've completely forgotten, that's the question. Yipes.

(Also, I love that icon and have inside intel on an extraordinary Sha're fic being written nowish. I hope. And not abandoned, I hope, because it's ambitious, dude.)

[http://users.livejournal.com/_minxy_/]

GROUP HUG!!!!!! *pounces*

[sid]

That is the most loving description of a coffee mug I think I have ever read. And so delightfully Jack, when we learn the inscription. Yay for fitting, and hugs, and memories old and new. :-)

[http://users.livejournal.com/_minxy_/]

Man just begs to be hugged. So does Jen.

This has been an extraordinary day for SG-1 ficlets, must say. Happy to help, too.

[http://users.livejournal.com/_minxy_/]

Thank you. Actually, I'm a little shocked that I had absolutely and completely forgotten that I'd ever written this fic. Which is oddly appropriate.

[http://users.livejournal.com/_minxy_/]

I loved, in Fallen, when he remembered Sha're, and to some degree figured out that Teal'c was the go to guy for straightforward answers to questions... but it could have just been the middle of the night, with no one else around. So I was always interested in when he started remembering the present, not just the past. Remembering people and relationships, enough to grasp humor and gifts and the emotion of welcome and how it would be expressed.

Which is a long winded way of saying, thank you, that is high praise.

[http://users.livejournal.com/_minxy_/]

Of course, there is the "and then they done sexin'" tag, but I though it best to keep it classy for Jen, being the classy gal that she is.

*throws little paper heart confetti and turns on the dance music*

This calls for a big banner sign, methinks.

[http://users.livejournal.com/_minxy_/]

I love it too, I'm rather impressed with myself. In a further layer of memory-related... stuff, I'd completely forgotten that I wrote this until Rydra brow beat me into writing a Cam/Teal'c fic. I was just fixin' to start it (it was going to be brilliant, too) when I discovered the first 1000 words or so of that Jack/Daniel fic that I was whining to you about. Only, I think I solved part of the plot problem with a cute little structure thing, and I have no memory of doing that either (pre-Thailand may be a new time measurement for my brain.)

SHEYEAH. So there are all these fics sitting around my hard drive, quiet as you please! What's up with that?

Luckily, it's preferable to my previous writers block, so I've been scribbling away in coffee shops today. It's been a lark.

Also, oh Jack, you are such a dork sometimes. I just wrote a scene where Jack won't react to pain but flinches when he catches himself saying something schmaltzy. Doofus.

[http://users.livejournal.com/_minxy_/]

If I could have included Yoda, you know I would have, just for you.

That line about blowing out the lights was one of the only changes I made to this fic in the brushing off phase. I found it on my hard drive, but it's really a mystery to me how it got there. So I'm doubly pleased that you picked something that I actually *remember* writing as a highlight. Makes me think that I might actually be able to accept the praise. Hee!

I'm glad you like the dawning. It feels like it must've been just an excruiciating process for someone like Daniel. Good thing he was in the company of such good family.

Happy birthday, friend of words but not sight. Next year, maybe, there will be real hugs. *hugs*

[http://users.livejournal.com/_minxy_/]

But it's Daniel, of course the re-discovery of coffee mugs would be borderline pornographic.

Hee! Yay indeed. I wish I remembered writing this, honestly. I'm a little worried that the elves just left it on my harddrive one night, as a changeling for a truly awful story or something.

[jenlev.livejournal.com]

wheee! and group hugs can be a lot of fun. :)

[jenlev.livejournal.com]

hee! well, you know that yoda, he gets around.

and of course you accept the praise, you're quite deserving. and yes indeedy to the quality of the family he found himself with. i will read this story many times.

and i will store up those in person hugs and look forward to your next visit to this coast. *hugs*

[catspaw-sgjd.livejournal.com]

He scrambled through the sea of paper, still without his sea legs

Beautiful, striking image. And I love the idea of Jack drip-feeding him his life and not pushing so hard that he lost his balance :-) Lovely little ficlet, thanks for sharing with us all :-)

[paian]

::comes flying in to the group!hug!::

[paian]

what else have I done that I've completely forgotten, that's the question -- But the answers will be so glorious when you find them!

Thanks re the icon! Heee, yes, sg_fignewton and the sg1_ever_after comm got me thinking about Sha're and how a happy ending might still be possible for her and Daniel without AU'ing canon. And it did get crazily ambitious right out of the gate (even though my first thought was to keep it to a 3K-word short with a mythical tone, along the lines of one of Ovid's Metamorphoses), because Sha'uri would not be sitting around the Underworld being a damsel in need of rescuing. She's been Taking Action, and Things Have Happened. Not abandoned by any means, still in development ... we'll see what comes of it. :-)

[paian]

And I really did mean to add, before hitting ye olde Submitte button, that that's assuming you mean the Sha're fic I've been playing around with, because you know there's a synecdochic one in the works that's really ambitious and I'm really drooling over. :-)

[http://users.livejournal.com/_minxy_/]

It's Synec's that I've read, and Lord, but I could *love* her Sha're liek whoa. I join you in drooling.

The world needs more Sha're fic. Yes.

How far is yours from working? *is totally happy to read and provide alpha/beta love* *in fact, will line up for the honor*

[paian]

Oh, way far still, just a gleam in the eye and a file of brainstorming notes and some reference books pulled off the shelf, but once it starts to be something I'll know where to turn for a read, thanks!

::wipes up some of that combined drool:: *g*

[http://users.livejournal.com/_minxy_/]

well, you know that yoda, he gets around.

That ho.

of course you accept the praise, you're quite deserving

If you say so. *doesn't remember*

i will read this story many times.

*squeeks and curls up into a little ball of writerly glee*

[http://users.livejournal.com/_minxy_/]

Thank you! And thank goodness I didn't mix the metaphors too badly.

You're icon never fails to amuse. Hee!

[jenlev.livejournal.com]

hee! he's just good at multi tasking in interpersonal relationships. ;)

and yup, you do deserve the praise.

also, writerly glee is a good look on you. *hugs*

[jenlev.livejournal.com]

wheee!!!!! :)

[orca-girl.livejournal.com]

This is great. There's a special place in my heart for early-S7 fics where Daniel is rediscovering everything, and rediscovering Jack (because, Jack is everything).

Also, this:

Where the sun beat down hard and the sand blew into your clothes, where the animals yawned awful breath but the horizon brought wonders. Familiar.

Is just a stupendously beautiful sentence. It feels to me like something you must have written once you had *been* to that kind of place and gotten the sense of it into your own skin.

[teand.livejournal.com]

A hollowed out shell of a man stripped of his borrowed identity, he was not sure he truly existed. Ever, anywhere.

Oh Daniel...

This was a lovely look at Daniel finding his way back to himself.

[sg-fignewton.livejournal.com]

He fit, in this crazy concrete planet where warmth and sand and desert existed somewhere.

Sweetness!

Really, really nice. :)

[maab-connor.livejournal.com]

awww. that was just lovely.

ps...sort of. :)

[jenlev.livejournal.com]

i was re-reading as i'm home watching the snow turn to ice and now rain....and there was this very kind comment. although..hee! i'm not so classy as to let you off the hook for the "sexin' tag". *veg*

you really are a sweetie you know. *smooch*

Re: ps...sort of. :)

[http://users.livejournal.com/_minxy_/]

Likewise. *smooches back* Hope you had a great birthday.

And I can report actually two plot bunnies living in the computer right now. I've had writers block for a little while, so I'm really surprised that I have Jack/Daniel *AND* Cam/Teal'c on the brain. I suspect one will be a little more sexy that the other, though. Cam and Teal'c are just so aaaaaaangsty. But Rydra made me.

[http://users.livejournal.com/_minxy_/]

Man, I wish I could say that were true. Truth is, I suspect this was one of those stories I had *no time* to write, but I loved the feeling of, so I scribbled it down during a 15 minute break from my thesis writing and then promptly forgot about. I had to fix some really strange sentence structure in a few places, but really this could have been dropped complete onto my hard drive by an elf for all I know.

God, what a lovely compliment to say it sounded like I must know what I'm talking about. I wish I had a sense of when I'd written this, honestly. I'm sure it's time stamped in the file though...

Anyway, I do have this feeling that at some unremarkable time, say 5.76 days after he gets back to the SGC, Daniel stopped getting triggered by what he sees and starts remembering things on his own and searching out the context. He'll remember something extraordinary, and he'll remember the room. He'll dwell, and become convinced it was personal, and wonderful, and sexy. He'll be absolutely sure that he never would have let that go willingly, and quietly start investigating the insides of SG-1's houses and comparing it to the room in his head, searching out the person who made him feel that way.

[http://users.livejournal.com/_minxy_/]

I miss them. I'm playing with this other start of a thing I found on my hard-drive. It feels like revisiting the old team, only with romantic love and inevitable heartbreak and separation. I hate knowing how it ends for them when I'm trying to let them be happy for a moment.

[http://users.livejournal.com/_minxy_/]

Thank you! I love how people are picking out different bits and fragments. How awesome is that?

[http://users.livejournal.com/_minxy_/]

Thanks, Maab! (nice icon, btw. I have no doubt that Jack will give some other mug to Daniel with those words on them someday.)

[maab-connor.livejournal.com]

i did the crazy SouthPark Studio thing, and i have Jack wearing a shirt that says that! *is ever-so-slightly insane*

Re: ps...sort of. :)

[jenlev.livejournal.com]

it was fabulous, made so by wonderful people like you. :)

and go rydra, she's a good influence indeed. have fun writing...well, i hope it's fun. not that writing is always fun... ack, i hope you know what i mean. *bg*

[snoopygirll.livejournal.com]

Lovely. :)

[rigel-7.livejournal.com]

"where the animals yawned awful breath but the horizon brought wonders"

That was just beautifully done *stores away in memories*

[http://users.livejournal.com/_minxy_/]

Thank you!

[http://users.livejournal.com/_minxy_/]

Aw, thank you! rereading is such a great compliment.