oh Lord, what can I say?

[minxy]

synecdochic has posted another fic in her accidental eurydiceverse, and it's a wonderful, complex, Jack/Daniel first time. Really extraordinary. Throwing Pebbles Up The Mountain. Jack voice, first person, slash, NC-17. I think what I might like most are the hints that there is so much more, to this comment, to that story, to the background, to the reason. Gives you Smart!Jack and still Canon!Jack.

I can't write Jack for beans, I don't think, so I'm just hella impressed.

In other news, I'm climbing a mountain tonight. My first mountain, and timed to climb in the dark and witness the sunrise from the summit.

Check off one of the things that I've always wanted to do in my life. Plus there's a home and a nap and a hot tub waiting for me and my posse of moonlight climbing friends at the foot of the mountain, which takes this from the realm of 'dream' into 'romantic.' Alas for the G-rating.

But I was pulling out clothes today, expecting wind and cold that high up and then when the sun comes up and we start down, gradual heat to normal hiking temps (can you say 'layers'?) I found a skiing jacket with lift tickets from a nearby mountain attached, and maps of the cross country trails and snowboarding trails in the pockets and I realized.

I mean, I knew this, but it hit me: I am terribly, wonderously, blessed. I am not sure I deserve so much wonderfulness. And, I mean, that's just TODAY. Next Wednesday I leave for AFRICA for a MONTH, after seeing so many fantastic people if I can get my head together enough to organize it, and I'm celebrating the completion of my doctorate, which I am so bloody proud of, and... how the hell is a girl supposed to process so much happy?

I would share this, if I could possibly figure out how to bottle it. I would be standing in front of the turnstyles at the subway in Manhattan and handing it out like free tokens. Taping it to the backs of postcards and mailing it to all of you with little pink hearts drawn around it. And stars.

Comments

[jenlev.livejournal.com]

it's a great story.

and wow, night climbing. be careful please. do you get a miner's helmet?

keep on being happy, no matter what. and you've worked so hard to get to this point. :::twirls you around in congratulatory hugs:::

and yay thursday! *g*

[ana-grrl.livejournal.com]

Oooh, oh! Africa! What part? How exciting. I hope you have a great day!

[sid]

You earned it, chickie! Enjoy!

[alizarin-nyc.livejournal.com]

...And then Manhattanites would rudely brush past you knocking your handout to the ground, and bums would rush you and steal it and gangs of kids with cell-phones and iPod-wielding hooligans would curse you.

And no one would realize that the would was *this close* to being a better place.

I love that you realized your blessed life and shared it with us -- takes courage to admit happiness.

[delphia2000.livejournal.com]

Way cool on the mountain climbing! I climbed a mountain a couple times...sissy mountain called FlatTop in Anchorage area, but a mountain none the less and plenty of effort to get to the top. Just not like climbing Rainier or Denali. I have a cool pic of me up there. Hope you get great weather and a beautiful sunrise!

Africa! Scary place jmho. Well, Eqypt would be cool to see. I'll be wishing you a lovely time and hoping you can pop in and say hi now and then!

[raqs.livejournal.com]

Good for you. I think happy needs to be processed just like sad but the first step is noticing that you're happy and a lot of people don't. (I don't, but other people tell me I'm happy and that helps. :-) Tamp all this down inside and keep it, it adds to the total joy quotient of your life.

Lucky sweet smart cute minxy girl.

[http://users.livejournal.com/_minxy_/]

I think knowing what's happening with you probably influenced my reaction to proof of wonderful adventures. Sometimes things must exist in contrasts to be appreciated, and I've been so frustrated about school for so long, and to be so free to take joy in things now is quite a contrast. Just knowing how many really good people actually want to see me is just extraordinary.

And yes, I had a head lamp. All intact, had a marvelous time. Although I did bruise the bajesus out of my ankle sliding down the scree on the way back. Ow. Hope it's better soon.

So much yay for Thursday. Yaaaaaayyyyyyy.....

[http://users.livejournal.com/_minxy_/]

Hee! South and Kenya and Eeeeeeeeegypt. So. Excited.

[http://users.livejournal.com/_minxy_/]

Aw thanks! Sometimes I think the happy is way beyond what I deserve, but I'll believe you today. Yup.

[ana-grrl.livejournal.com]

Ohh, shiny! Well, have a kick-ass awesome time!

[http://users.livejournal.com/_minxy_/]

Yes, well. Perhaps we shall distribute tokens of happy at the Portland light rail then. Portlanders are ridiculously polite. They we could work our way East until even the Manhattanites think twice before elbowing me aside. Maybe I'll enlist the fire department or something.

NO! I got it! All change in New York will now be given in happy tokens. Yes. Cabs included. I am unstoppable. Not even New York can resist!

Heh. I'm so looking forward to meeting you. You'll find I'm much better at joy than my own frustrations; I'll breeze right by those babies, but I love celebrations. And silliness, to some degree--balances out all the serious.

[http://users.livejournal.com/_minxy_/]

This was 10.4 K feet, so it's a beginner's mountain, though I've been invited to Hood, which is the highest in Oregon (um, that's okay, I'll pass.)

I got some great pics, but haven't got them on the 'puter yet. Am still sleeeeeepy. *yawn* Sunrise was gorgeous like a very unspeakably gorgeous thing.

Am going to Africa with friends and a really respected tour--I'll be having my hand held, so I feel pretty secure.

[http://users.livejournal.com/_minxy_/]

There are emotions I'm just not good at (like anger, I need someone to tell me I've earned angry) but joy I love. I've always loved the rush of being really darn pleased with the moment.

Lucky me. Lucky lucky me. Hee! Looking forward to seeing you. So much.

[http://users.livejournal.com/_minxy_/]

OMG if I could just figure out what to pack....

*g* Amazing, innit? Amaaaaaazing it is.

[ana-grrl.livejournal.com]

Are you going for vacation purposes? Or volunteer stuff? Are you going to be fairly rural? Or urban? These are all the things I think about when packing. I make way too much of a deal about packing, I have to admit!

[jenlev.livejournal.com]

sometimes it takes hard work to get used to joy. especially if there's been a time span without it being so available. i know i'm much happier as an adult than i was as a kid...so yes indeedy to what you've said here.

yay for head lamps. ;) but ouch.

[sherrold.livejournal.com]

> how the hell is a girl supposed to process so much happy?

Don't know, but don't rush through it; you've worked hard, over a long time, and it's worth taking some time to soak in it (you know, while you're rushing around like a crazy person). Seriously, congrats, you know?

[http://users.livejournal.com/_minxy_/]

Oh wow, I'm late replying to this, but thanks! It's funny to come back from a months tour of Africa and read a post about getting excited about it. There are, though, you know... there are really good people around here. Adds to the 'wow I feel blessed' quotient.

So thank you.