minxy: Teal'c raises a hand to say "hey". (Default)
[personal profile] minxy
I feel so jerked around emotionally these days. I've been meditating, and usually it so improves my ability to cope, but some things are just not cope-able. I find. For me. In current context.

My grandfather is 99, and awesome. Ask him his birthday and he'll say "December 25th, 1915". Ask him where he was on April 1st, 1943, and he will tell you precisely and probably have a story full of dry wit to tell. But they had to amputate his leg last year due to arterial collapse and inelasticity. He has a pacemaker and hearing aids and rheumatoid arthritis something awful, and a propensity for bacterial infections lately. This is the worst, because it changes his appetite and tolerance for food and then he loses energy and acuity and etc. etc. It's been a week of downswings for him.

I helped by redirecting his mind to remembering all the cars he's bought or owned. We have digitized slides and I pulled all the photos of cars and asked him to identify the make, model, and owner. He got so excited. And was admitted to the ER this morning, and released this afternoon.

It's up and down. I live on the other side of the continent (he's in the midwest, which is actually on the Eastern side of the US, and I'm on the western coast) so when they say panic, and drama, I believe them and worry that I can't get there. But then I call and he does great and they thank me for the diversion. I'm so tired, I can only imagine what it's like to be on site.

Meanwhile, my students are getting all the interviews, and all the acceptances to grad school and med school and internships and such. So happy making.

Meanwhile also, I sit on committees where another faculty keeps revisiting how the minority students I'm advocating for don't matter, can be excluded, we can't be held hostage by their wishes to graduate in four years. And it gets me. It gets me because I'm raw. And also sometimes I just don't understand how one community can talk about things for so many years and another one can be so oblivious.

Another happy thing? The polyamorous recs random archive rec tumblr. I have it on my morning coffee tabs, and every day I see one story. I read so far outside of my viewing range for this, because they look so cute! And of course I want to see Steve's awkward attempts to woo, even though I've never seen Hawai'i 5-0, because I could use a little Hawai'i in my life, or awkward guys having chemistry. I have no idea which of the Hawai'i 5-0 guys these are, and I assume the white dudes, but I'm entertained that it could be the Asian guy, because that would be awesome if there were an Asian American lead that fandom was totally writing pining for the other guy. It would. Fandom and polyamorous recs make days better, is what I'm saying. Check 'em out. And picture the Asian guy.
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minxy: Teal'c raises a hand to say "hey". (Default)

June 2017


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