Tone is definitely a word that has been used in less savory ways. And sometimes inaccurately, but it's an interesting concept.
What gets me, I am thinking, is respect. I will do backflips to teach or to learn from someone who is excited about their work and passionate about it enough to convey it to me. I've never had trouble working with most types of personalities before, and I would have said that I could get along with most anyone.
I get the idea that there are different ways to say the same information, and better and worse ways to convey constructive criticism. I'm trying to view this upcoming conversation with my boss as me conveying constructive criticism, but I am having so much trouble getting past what I see as the underlying problem: he was wrong on several points, and he did not respect either me or my work (he was wrong about that too.) So that's the crux of the matter for me, and yet the conversation needs to be about clarity of communication, how and when he lets me know he's relying on my for particular things, how to motivate me and how not to.
And what I really want is an apology. I think I'll have to work myself into the idea that the apology, if it comes, has to be icing on the cake. The cake and the point and the entire focus needs to be communication and working environment, even if my emotions still feel very strongly that Wrong Has Been Done. Stupid emotions.
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branchandroot
no subject
Date: 2008-03-09 02:18 am (UTC)What gets me, I am thinking, is respect. I will do backflips to teach or to learn from someone who is excited about their work and passionate about it enough to convey it to me. I've never had trouble working with most types of personalities before, and I would have said that I could get along with most anyone.
I get the idea that there are different ways to say the same information, and better and worse ways to convey constructive criticism. I'm trying to view this upcoming conversation with my boss as me conveying constructive criticism, but I am having so much trouble getting past what I see as the underlying problem: he was wrong on several points, and he did not respect either me or my work (he was wrong about that too.) So that's the crux of the matter for me, and yet the conversation needs to be about clarity of communication, how and when he lets me know he's relying on my for particular things, how to motivate me and how not to.
And what I really want is an apology. I think I'll have to work myself into the idea that the apology, if it comes, has to be icing on the cake. The cake and the point and the entire focus needs to be communication and working environment, even if my emotions still feel very strongly that Wrong Has Been Done. Stupid emotions.