minxy

A much needed vote of confidence today came in the form of an acceptance to present at a national meeting specific to my specialty (networking helped, but geez, I'm in my second year!)

...Did I mention that it's in Hawai'i? And that I get a small honorarium as a speaker to offset travel expenses? It's not all I'll need, but it's nice.

I have also gathered a set of students that regularly follow me back from class just to chat about biochemistry, and class, and how what we're studying applies to their lives, and things. Sal might have called them the usual suspects. I love that students want to be around me so much they just hang out.

Naturally, these students have been a part of the work I get to present in Honolulu this summer, and are currently lobbying to be packed in a suitcase to come along.

I have gained about ten pounds a year since leaving my Central Coast town of marathons. This last summer I started counting calories to lose it (and counting vitamins, since I realized I am genetically incapable of making some of them properly.) Imagine my surprise when I found I wasn't eating *enough* calories/carbs/fat/iron/calcium. I've lost 14 lbs so far, even exercising only minimally. Eat well to live well is apparently very real.

I have purchased two summer birthday gifts this week and am feeling almost on top of things! Mostly I'm still living on top of boxes since we moved over Spring Break to a house nearer the water, but even that feels like a win a lot, because it's so much less expensive in rent (and near the water).

Anyway, random minx is random. I just wanted to say hi mostly, and be cheerful.

Polyamorous Recs! Polyamorous Recs! Polyamorous Recs!

New site! New recs! It's gorgeous!

There must be a term for a person who continues to happily contemplate completely turning her life over every two years.


...not that I've heard from the alternate job. I have a 50-50 shot, though; I hope to hear from them.

That's probably not good. Shouldn't I want to settle down and hit snooze on my biological clock or something by now?

Virtual cookies for the best disease title.

People, I am getting serious Stargate flashbacks, here. What is with SciFi shows creating such neat concepts but such, how you say... PLOT HOLES THAT NEED FIC TO MAKE THEM COMPLETE. I had a short exchange with Raqs recently where she mentioned that a lot of Joss Whedon fandoms don't ping the "must...write...fic!" part of the brain, possibly due to lack of screamingly obvious plot holes. Warehouse 13 is in it's 4th season now, has that whole team dynamic, lots of interactions but they... they change suddenly. And I wish there were awesome people in this fandom explaining to me why it's because Myka and Claudia (or Myka and Helena!) are secretely pining after each other (wait... wow, that would be really hot. Claudia is snarky like Jack was snarky. Myka is nerdy like Daniel was nerdy... I CAN TOTALLY SEE THIS!) or that Pete was sleeping with their former boss and is deflecting with all the womanizing behavior... I don't know! There is such potential for hot sexy porn, though. And awesome, awesome female slash. I can see it so much more than with the guys.

It almost makes me want to figure out how to pinch-hit Yuletide. I hear Warehouse 13 might be a fandom there, but I'm too distracted still to actually commit to requesting a fandom. Besides the one. I think you request 3? Dunno. Never done it.

In other news, I am completely committed to swimming twice a week. I blame the olympics, and Michael Phelps stupid abs. Also possibly the fact that I started training in a pool at 7 years old and treat it like meditation and a work-out combined. It's messing with my skin, though, I shudder to think what I'll do in the winter proper.

( Context )

( Preamble )

Now:

A really good massage therapist in Oregon recommended I see a world-class "Rolfer" in my current town. I did not know what this was. It has changed my life.

Rolfing was devised by a biochemist who realized there was a gulf of practical kinesiology between bones (chiropractic care) and muscle (traditional massage care); this comprises fascia, tendon and ligament, all of which should be mildly elastic without actively articulating.

Most of us lose a lot of this elasticity with age. You can also use it if you are self-medicating for chronic pain (hello). I lost it and knew as much when I was told by a Pilates instructor that I looked like I was getting ready to bank into a right hand turn when I thought I was standing up straight. Most folk who are relatively inactive (read: desk job) have fused their ilio-sacral joints by the time they are 50, this is related to the fascia and ligaments tightening up.

Rolfing< (or as I like to think of it: Brain Rehab) is generally a series of ten sessions, over ten weeks with possible breaks at particular times. Apparently, for some patients, it hurts? But it shouldn't. You have a therapist with sub-standard technique; pain means you brace yourself, and you'll see much slower results with that level of resistance. My understanding of what they are doing is this: massage of the surface layer of muscle until they can get to the ligaments/fascia etc. Light specific stroking of the ligament/fascia etc, to enable "clearing" of the cells, or removal of the detritous that could block blood flow and flexibility. Lastly, manual stretching (this is part of the art of the care: the direction is something the therapist would sort out by feel) of those inelastic ligaments and fascia to get back to the right movements and articulation of the body. Post-script: you settle into this new range of motion over the course of the week. You may have homework as simple as taking a walk, or specific stretches or movements. You'll see fast results if you do these things.

I don't know if I can explain the ways in which my body changed, but the following things are documented in my before and after shots: I stand straight now. I am 1 3/4" taller (not joking. I initially measured an inch shorter than I thought I was due to the leaning. I'm now roughly 1/2" taller than I thought I was.) I walk differently, with my weight shifting evenly over my toes as I rock. I walk *lighter* than I did: I can articulate my ankles and heels and hip so much farther that a lot of my body weight is absorbed differently and not in the heel strike.

We didn't get to my shoulders and head until session, what, 7? 8? I noticed major changes long before that. I noticed them on day one (average height gain after the first session: 1") A big thing for me was releasing the psoas muscle. This is my new favorite muscle.

But back to my brain: I don't remember a lot of the details of that session, but there were fingers in my ears, mouth and nose (with gloves. And nice smelling oil, if you were wondering.) I don't know if you have ever had anyone stick their fingers in your nose, but it's odd. They are right next to your brain, after all, but that is why I was there, so I was all in, you know? My upper three or so cranial vertebrae had been pretty much fused into my skull from tension and stress and chronic pain. They move now. They articulate. IT IS AMAZING.

My migraines aren't gone, but the side effects are so minimized they may as well be. I noticed, the other day, a mild amount of light sensitivity before I went home for the day. The thunderstorm cracked that evening, and I was on an average dose of ibuprophen, but awake and functioning. Previously, 8-12 hours ahead of tiem, I would have checked out, gone home and shut the blinds and hoped to sleep through it (stupidest superpower ever). The change, can you even appreciate the change? The difference for me is the ability to rely on my brain when I need it and choose to take an evening off as soon as I have the luxury. It used to be that every week or few weeks I would work through such significant pain and side effects that I knew I wasn't at full capacity. I didn't used to be at full capacity, and I missed it.

I walk so much more fluidly now. I can move my leg without canting my hip, I can move my hip without tugging my ribcage around. I can stand straight and let my arms fall over my hips. I can TILT MY HEAD TO THE SIDE. Also, and I may not have mentioned this before: the point is that I only go back two or three times a year if I choose. The point of Rolfing is that it sticks, not that they create a patient for life.

It was a game-changer. I have the levels of energy and range of motion I had as a teenager. I am also on summer schedule (meaning, I am not teaching two-three new courses right now!) I may take over the world. LOOK OUT.

So, yeah. Rolfing. Anyone else try this?




*er, I am a doctor, though I don't play one on T.V. This post should not be taken as a directive.

Okay, I'm posting. It's really hard to break the radio silence when you really mean it. So, I'm going to start with small stuff:

My cat has it in for my purple basil. True facts.

I really think his list of good vs. bad things in Otis's world for a while there included purple basil right underneath "snow", and that's only because it's early in the season and he still remembers turning into an indoor cat for several months. He pounced the hell out of that one plant out of dozens (ignoring the cinnamon and traditional green basil) in favor of really removing every leaf, stalk and remaining tidbit of the purple stuff.

If you were interested, good things include interrupting all grading whenever possible. Also he's developed an incredibly polite way of requesting a mock fight with me: he gently, and carefully puts his teeth on my hand. Then he waits for me to cover my delicate hand with my sleeve, and we go at it. Cat wins (this is a rule.) If Otis wants to smack it down with E? He just attacks (and wins.) There is a distinct difference of approach based on which human he's dealing with. Smart cat, eh?

Except for the purple basil thing. Alas, but that battle is already lost. Lucky for me, the green basil is not an evil plant.

Things that are excellent about this Monday:

1. Pilates, which released my entire back right down to my hips. After a weekend of grading and snow shoveling, people, I needed that.

2. First appointment with a highly recommended cranial-sacral massage therapist this week YAY.

3. E home a week from Wednesday!!!!!!!eleven!! omg. He's been gone a while.

4. Got invited to join a cohort alliance in an ADVANCE grant*.

5. Recently, in SherlockBBC fandom, I have been reading ALL THE THINGS. Or, well, all the things that come recommended already. Thanks to a couple of calls for recs on the old reading circle, I found some great stuff recently. See this compliation post for details.

6. Salieri made me a Watson icon! See the Dreamwidth version of this post to view! (also, I, er, seem to have let my paid memberships lapse to everything. I didn't mind at all until I wanted to upload new icons. Drat. Paid again at DW, then.


*ADVANCE is a grant through the US Nat. Sci. Foundation that is trying to encourage and support more women in the sciences. To wit, funding to go to meetings, organization so we talk to each other, introduction to 4-5 other women at your career level in your field, who are likely quite far afield and so, thus, the funding to meet up once a year at professional meetings. Currently, in chemistry, women make up 13% of the faculty, with 99% of chemistry departments having no or only one woman at a full professor position (senior faculty). This is quite an awesome grant to essentially forge an old girls network.

I am in a quandary. I am having feelings. Really, I need to process through them, and I need help. I hope you guys can help.

The facts are these:

I got the job I wanted, and I enjoy the work.

The work is all-encompassing. It's my first year, and it never ends.

In 2009, I moved across the country. In 2010 I began a major job search on top of my job. In 2011 I moved back across the country in a leftward manner, and also moved my boyfriend's stuff Northward. My new job now is three times the teaching load, as well as research expectations. E is commuting part time back to his parent's homes to continue working, but that is work, this is home. There was little time to find a community in my new town, and my work cohort didn't mesh the way we did in my last position. There was little time to exercise (though I managed 1 hour a week.)

I ended the year in a state of exhaustion that revealed the utter lack of immune system I'd retained over this time. I have had fevers, sinus colds, chest colds, and fevers again. I had a month off between semesters and I only barely recovered to full health. I am not emotionally at full health.

Words that might describe my feelings: sad. Lonely (E is at work more than he is here.) Exhausted despite not needing sleep. Dread of each week beginning. Sad. Lonely.

It's hard to bargain that all will be well if only I survive feeling this way for the Spring semester, then get to the summer when things will ease, and I won't have to move. I enjoy my work, but E has not established work here. I'm fantasizing about chucking all of it, becoming a community college instructor and having a life, but that would be abandoning the parts of my job that I am most excited about (as much as I'm excited about anything right now) when I go to work these days, and frankly, moving again... well, it's part of the problem, isn't it? You can't solve problems with the same thinking that created them. And you can't solve exhaustion by chucking your dream job and going further into debt with another interstate move just because you miss the support of your partner.

If anyone could maybe tell me that I won't feel this way all semester, or that there is maybe a solution I'm not seeing, that would be great.

One of the reasons I follow some rare-posting blogs is for gems like this kind of thing: random collections of neat links that make it worth keeping that blog on the list. Since I am now a rare poster, I present:

NPR's series on the 50th anniversary of West Side Story. There's a US-wide rerelease of WSS on the big screen this Wednesday, if you have always wanted to see the movie on a bigger screen.

H/T to cofax Vintage 1900 Halloween postcards

The movie of Snow Flower and the Secret Fan (author: Lisa See, I think) which I saw the other night, and these icons of Li Bingbing (one of the leads), by yifu via chromicons, which is a great creative community.

Cinemagraphs

Hungry Ghost Food and Travel. Gorgeous photographs, unusual ingredients.

Halloween sort of kicks off the season (which extends officially until January, but never really ends) of my Mother sending me decorating knick-knacks in an attempt to get me to recognize the change of season inside my house. I don't object to other people doing it, and am generally very happy to see garlands of fir and pine, red berry twig and flower arrangements, etc, when I'm with my family for the holidays. For my house, thought, it feels like one more fussy thing I have to do or find room for or *clean*. And did I mention that there is no storage in my house for boxes and boxes of decorations? THERE ISN'T, mostly because I don't want to make space. Anyway, with that caveat carefully in place, I am really drawn to these bright green, polka dot, paper garlands. Am I right? Aren't they happy looking?

I would love, love, love to participate in this: Culture Kitchen Please someone go on my behalf? One aspect of traveling for me was always engaging with people in a non-business manner, and beyond that, connecting with women, who were frequently not the first people to work with tourists. Food is one of those universal conversation starters that work even without common language, but bring you to common ground, especially with other women. I wish I could go.

I think I'm done for the moment-- the cat wishes to cuddle.

ETA:Back with a few more links.

young people, texting, language and history of that intersection is a neat read, thought the comments add a lot of additional nuance.

This trailer Still Bill Trailer has me contemplating a relatively expensive purchase just so I can download the full documentary right now. Bill Withers!

While we're on that, I want to see this too: How to Make a Book with Steidl It looks like it will be fun like Helvetica was.

And I am currently downloading this to fill the Project Runway escapism need that I have sometimes. It's cheaper than Bill, but I am seriously, seriously drawn to Bill. I love his music, even the stuff that wasn't super big.

ETA2: The Bill Withers doc was fabulous. It doesn't surprise me at all that a man who can write simple and profoundly emotional music can live a simple and profoundly emotional life too. Also, does his wife not rock like a rockin' thing?

Hi guys.

So I am home sick today (aka, the day before my classes start) and faffing around the internet, as you do, when I realized that I hadn't posted since I landed safely in my new town.

So, hey! I'm all settled in. Like my job, enjoy my guy, and I'm doing pretty well as a cat owner too, even as the previously mentioned fella took off for his previous town to wrap up a few things (he'll be doing that on and off for the next, oh, six months.)

My profile went live on my work website the other day, and this week I've been bombarded with emails from my last job--students reporting on their new positions/classes, colleagues checking in, people telling me what changed, and notably a recent retiree from the last department on a road-trip asking if I can come out for dinner Thursday. Awesome.

meh. So I'm sick, though. Bleargh. I hope you are well, internets? I've been lurking around, but it is nice to say hello.

You know what's kind of awesome? This cartoon of How Harry Potter Should Have Ended. They're right, actually, Snape is totally enough of a bad-ass to make that work.